The December issue of Maxim is finally on the newsstands, so here are the first round of shitty low-res scans of Ashley Greene’s inside pictorial. Ooh, speaking of Ashley Greene, that reminds me — what’s the difference between a girl who stars in Twilight and a girl buying tickets to see Twilight? About forty pounds and a couple of boxes of Manic Panic. Zing!
Ground-breaking history was made at this year’s 2009 Country Music Awards, and not just because no one used a brown jug or a washboard during their performance. Yahoo News says
The 19-year-old Taylor Swift became the youngest artist ever to win the Entertainer Of The Year award. She also won Female Vocalist, Album of the Year, and Video of the Year.
Darius Rucker also went down in the CMA books as the first African American to win New Artist of the Year, as well as the first AA artist since Charley Pride to win a major individual award.
I bet the CMA committee had a lot of great gifts backstage for Taylor and Darius after the show. Things like designer jewelery and imported champagne for her and forty acres and a mule for him. I’m pretty sure that’s how they do it in the Deep South.
Taylor in a London photoshoot (12 more after the jump):
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
“Twilight’s” Ashley Greene has two different covers for the December issue of Maxim. I guess it’s some kind of marketing ploy to get you to buy two copies of the same magazine, but I’m not sure the the public is going to go for that kind of fuckery in today’s economy. Unless one of the covers is scratch-and-sniff and the other one is 3-D and topographically correct, I ain’t buyin’. Masturbation isn’t an art; it’s a science! And I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to pay for science. I’ll save that for the hippie liberals and their left-wing agenda.
Putting the “tight” in Twilight over the last year:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Boy, the last time I saw abs like these, it was this morning and I was looking in a mirror. But I can’t go around looking in a mirror all day, now can I? It’s just not practical. And you wouldn’t believe how hard it makes navigating a school zone. That’s why I’m glad that Mila Jovovich decided to show hers off in Italian Maxim. Involuntary manslaughter and vehicular homicide charges can really cramp a girl with rockin abs’ style.
16-year-old Miley Cyrus has been voted 2009’s Worst Celebrity Influence, beating out the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan in an AOL poll. Now that’s really saying something. Nine MSN says
Those countless photo scandals (both skanky and racist) must have finally come back to bite her on the bum because it’s Miley’s own peers who are voting against her.
The teenager scored a whopping 42 percent of the vote on AOL’s JSYK.com, a website aimed at 9 to 15-year-olds, wining the title of ‘Worst Celebrity Influence’ by a landslide.
Coming in second place and third place were Britney Spears and Kanye West respectively.
In other hot Miley news, it seems that Miley quit tweeting a few months ago because her boyfriend told her to, and now some lunatic has set up a website claiming she will EAT HER OWN PET CAT if Miley doesn’t start Twittering again (see a picture of the intended victim here). Not making this up. Miley Save Fuzzy says
The other day I asked myself: ‘What can I do to bring Miley back to Twitter?’ Then I looked at my cat, Fuzzy and realized, maybe Fuzzy can make the ultimate sacrifice for this cause. It was very difficult for me, as I sincerely love Fuzzy. But my mind is made up. I could always get another cat, but nothing can replace Miley’s tweets for me!
I’ve set a deadline of November 16, 2009, when Fuzzy will part with his life and become a meal. I intend to make a cat dish according to our ethnic cuisine. Fuzzy will receive quick and swift death and I’ll try to minimize his suffering.
How can Fuzzy be saved?
Simple. Miley Cyrus needs to come back to Twitter.
Let me tell you, I have never been so wrongly mislead by the tag words “Miley eating kitty.” Those bastards at MSN fucking owe me.
Miley making a bunch of stupid faces during her SATC cameo (more of her with Kim Cattrall here):
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Here are the rest of the models featured in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorer’s Edition, because while they may not yet be famous, they still have boobs. And that right there is two-thirds of the hiring requirements here at Yeeeah! I’m pretty sure the other third was something about people skills. God knows it wasn’t writing!
Cintia Dicker:
Daniela Sarahyba:
Julie Henderson:
Kim Cloutier:
Tori Praver:
The 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorer’s Edition Portfolio contains tons of bikini-clad pictures of models Bar Rafaeli, Brooklyn Decker and Hilary Rhoda (just to name a few), although I’m not entirely sure what makes it the “Explorer’s Edition.” Perhaps there’s a mariner’s guide to the Straits of Magellan and a crudely-drawn map to the Lost City of Gold in the back. You know, in case you feel like rubbing one out on the legend of El Dorado instead of Bar Rafaeli’s face. I’m sure that happens a lot if your last name is Pizarro.
Damn skippy she is. Holy shit. Kate Beckinsale makes that idiot Megan Fox look like a fucking amateur. And she’s four years away from being 40! I’d say 36 is the new 69! Get it? 69? God, I hate myself.
The 61st Annual Emmy Awards were last night, and instead of doing my standard best dressed and worst dressed posts, I’m going to try something different: being positive for a change. Yes, this year’s fashion review is going to take a page from the current politically correct climate in which nothing’s anyone’s fault and everybody who participates gets a gold star. Mediocrity is the new black! So, first up on my Best of the 2009 Emmys list is actress (?) Phoebe Price. Phoebe wins “Best Old Lady Beaver Flash” (closeup here). How’s that for a little “red carpet” action? Get it? Red carpet? Because she’s a redhead… and, you know… carpet and the drapes — oh, just forget it. I’m going to go ahead and give myself a gold star for that joke anyway. See, everybody wins!
The Best of the Rest after the jump
These pics from Keely Hazell’s 2009 swimsuit calendar are almost a year old, but fortunately, there’s no expiration date on boobs. You’re welcome!
There was something different about Eva Mendes at the Venice Film Festival Wednesday night, and it’s not just that she’s not topless or covered in oil. Can you guess what it is? The Daily Mail says
The Hollywood actress looked far from her usual luminous self Wednesday night, [appearing] tired as she arrived for the premiere of the Italian epic Baaria.
Perhaps jet-lag was to blame after her long-haul flight from Los Angeles.
Well, from the looks of it, she was probably up all night packing the bags under her eyes. Cross-continental flights really require a lot of organization, you know!
Topless and covered in oil for this month’s Italian Vanity Fair, plus more saggy-baggy in Venice:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
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