Actress Kate Bosworth strips down to her skivvies and slips a little visible nip in a see-through shirt in a shoot for this month’s Italian Vogue. If that’s how the Italians do it, well, then, sign me the hell up! I always figured there’d be more pit sweat and pasta fazool involved, maybe a good wife-beating or two in the mix. Perhaps antiquated stereotypes aren’t as accurate as my grandfather would have me believe.

The Grammy nominations were announced last night, and among those listed were crap, crap and who fucking cares. I’m only even telling you this as an excuse to post pictures of Katy Perry’s boobs, because she was there at the announcement party in a ridiculously low-cut tight dress, but if you’re some kind of homo who wants actual details, feel free to keep reading:

Beyonce had the most Grammy nominations, including ones for album of the year for I Am Sasha Fierce, and song of the year for Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It).

Taylor Swift, the year’s best-selling artist outside of the late Michael Jackson, was nominated for eight including album, song and record of the year.

And Lady Gaga had five nominations overall including best album for her debut CD, The Fame. The Black Eyed Peas were nominated for record of the year for their feel-good song, I Gotta Feeling, while the Kings of Leon were nominated for Use Somebody.

Blahbitty blahbitty boobs. Did you not see them up there? Perhaps if you took the sweaty man-cock out of your mouth and wiped the balls off your chin, you’d have a better view. Homo.

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News

It was a big night for Michael Jackson and Taylor Swift at the American Music Awards, even though neither of them were there to accept them. People magazine says

Swift won five American Music Awards, including Favorite Artist of the Year – all while she was in London.

A stunned Swift gave her acceptance speech via satellite, paying homage to the night’s other big winner, Michael Jackson.

Jackson won four trophies: Favorite Soul/R&B Artist, Favorite Pop/Rock Male Vocalist and Favorite Pop/Rock Album and Favorite Soul/R&B Album.

Good for Michael Jackson. Everything he’s put out in the last twenty years sucked donkey, but let’s just put aside the whole “weirdo recluse pedophile drug addict who hasn’t cranked out a real hit since 1987″ because he’s dead. Jesus Christ. I’m surprised they didn’t find a way to give Roman Polanski and award while they were at it. But anyway, I digress. The only reason we watch these shows (other than for the falling down) — the dresses! So let’s get to it. (Lots more of Selena Gomez, Fergie, Alicia Keys and Rihanna after the jump)

Shakira in a Versace dress made entirely of recycled milk jugs:

Carrie Underwood in a one-shoulder gold lamé Theia frock and Adam Lambert’s belt:

Nicole Kidman as Meg Ryan in a shower curtain in Balenciaga:

Kristen Bell in I Dream of Jeanie by Christian Cota:

Kelly Clarkson in Fatty Fatty Two by Four:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News, Bauer-Griffin

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If you didn’t watch the American Music Awards last night, you’re in luck, because I have the highlights right here: Adam Lambert wiping out during his dirty butt sex tribute “For Your Entertainment” and Jennifer Lopez landing right on her big fat fanny during her “Loubotins” performance. I really had a hard time deciding who had the better fall, but in the end I went with Adam (FF to the 1:47 mark), because he turned his misstep into a full on Errol Flynn pirate-style monkey roll. While JLo’s comeuppance is sweet (FF to the 2:55 mark), hers lacked the theatrics and improvised somersaults that Adam’s did. Ultimately, I have to go with quality over quantity, no matter how much seismic energy was registered on the Richter scale when Jennifer Lopez’ ass hit the floor. I’m firm but fair.

Rihanna, who should never, EVER sing live, after the jump.

^{PHOTO SOURCE: Huffington Post}

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The December issue of Maxim is finally on the newsstands, so here are the first round of shitty low-res scans of Ashley Greene’s inside pictorial. Ooh, speaking of Ashley Greene, that reminds me — what’s the difference between a girl who stars in Twilight and a girl buying tickets to see Twilight? About forty pounds and a couple of boxes of Manic Panic. Zing!

Ground-breaking history was made at this year’s 2009 Country Music Awards, and not just because no one used a brown jug or a washboard during their performance. Yahoo News says

The 19-year-old Taylor Swift became the youngest artist ever to win the Entertainer Of The Year award. She also won Female Vocalist, Album of the Year, and Video of the Year.

Darius Rucker also went down in the CMA books as the first African American to win New Artist of the Year, as well as the first AA artist since Charley Pride to win a major individual award.

I bet the CMA committee had a lot of great gifts backstage for Taylor and Darius after the show. Things like designer jewelery and imported champagne for her and forty acres and a mule for him. I’m pretty sure that’s how they do it in the Deep South.

Taylor in a London photoshoot (12 more after the jump):

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

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“Twilight’s” Ashley Greene has two different covers for the December issue of Maxim. I guess it’s some kind of marketing ploy to get you to buy two copies of the same magazine, but I’m not sure the the public is going to go for that kind of fuckery in today’s economy. Unless one of the covers is scratch-and-sniff and the other one is 3-D and topographically correct, I ain’t buyin’. Masturbation isn’t an art; it’s a science! And I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to pay for science. I’ll save that for the hippie liberals and their left-wing agenda.

Putting the “tight” in Twilight over the last year:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Boy, the last time I saw abs like these, it was this morning and I was looking in a mirror. But I can’t go around looking in a mirror all day, now can I? It’s just not practical. And you wouldn’t believe how hard it makes navigating a school zone. That’s why I’m glad that Mila Jovovich decided to show hers off in Italian Maxim. Involuntary manslaughter and vehicular homicide charges can really cramp a girl with rockin abs’ style.

16-year-old Miley Cyrus has been voted 2009′s Worst Celebrity Influence, beating out the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan in an AOL poll. Now that’s really saying something. Nine MSN says

Those countless photo scandals (both skanky and racist) must have finally come back to bite her on the bum because it’s Miley’s own peers who are voting against her.

The teenager scored a whopping 42 percent of the vote on AOL’s JSYK.com, a website aimed at 9 to 15-year-olds, wining the title of ‘Worst Celebrity Influence’ by a landslide.

Coming in second place and third place were Britney Spears and Kanye West respectively.

In other hot Miley news, it seems that Miley quit tweeting a few months ago because her boyfriend told her to, and now some lunatic has set up a website claiming she will EAT HER OWN PET CAT if Miley doesn’t start Twittering again (see a picture of the intended victim here). Not making this up. Miley Save Fuzzy says

The other day I asked myself: ‘What can I do to bring Miley back to Twitter?’ Then I looked at my cat, Fuzzy and realized, maybe Fuzzy can make the ultimate sacrifice for this cause. It was very difficult for me, as I sincerely love Fuzzy. But my mind is made up. I could always get another cat, but nothing can replace Miley’s tweets for me!

I’ve set a deadline of November 16, 2009, when Fuzzy will part with his life and become a meal. I intend to make a cat dish according to our ethnic cuisine. Fuzzy will receive quick and swift death and I’ll try to minimize his suffering.

How can Fuzzy be saved?

Simple. Miley Cyrus needs to come back to Twitter.

Let me tell you, I have never been so wrongly mislead by the tag words “Miley eating kitty.” Those bastards at MSN fucking owe me.

Miley making a bunch of stupid faces during her SATC cameo (more of her with Kim Cattrall here):

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Here are the rest of the models featured in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorer’s Edition, because while they may not yet be famous, they still have boobs. And that right there is two-thirds of the hiring requirements here at Yeeeah! I’m pretty sure the other third was something about people skills. God knows it wasn’t writing!

Cintia Dicker:

Daniela Sarahyba:

Julie Henderson:

Kim Cloutier:

Tori Praver:

The 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorer’s Edition Portfolio contains tons of bikini-clad pictures of models Bar Rafaeli, Brooklyn Decker and Hilary Rhoda (just to name a few), although I’m not entirely sure what makes it the “Explorer’s Edition.” Perhaps there’s a mariner’s guide to the Straits of Magellan and a crudely-drawn map to the Lost City of Gold in the back. You know, in case you feel like rubbing one out on the legend of El Dorado instead of Bar Rafaeli’s face. I’m sure that happens a lot if your last name is Pizarro.

Damn skippy she is. Holy shit. Kate Beckinsale makes that idiot Megan Fox look like a fucking amateur. And she’s four years away from being 40! I’d say 36 is the new 69! Get it? 69? God, I hate myself.