Hope you’ve had your fill of second-rate shitty romantic comedies, because Jennifer Aniston is taking a year off from acting! Us Magazine says:

Jennifer Aniston is turning love into a full-time job!

“Jen’s taking a year off from work to enjoy herself,” an Aniston insider [reveals].

Indeed, a second source familiar with her schedule confirms that after Horrible Bosses and the October release of Wanderlust, the only thing on her plate is… [spending time with] new beau Justin Theroux.

There’s nothing men find sexier than you up and quitting your job after a month of dating so that you can focus on your new relationship together. Trust me, they don’t find that creepy or smothering or desperate at all. Just remember, restraining orders are just his way of reaching out to you. Men sometimes have a hard time communicating.

Arriving at The Daily Show last month:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Morning, all! It’s Sonya today. I hope everyone had a great Father’s Day. My dad spent the day trying to become a father with all the local floozies, so I didn’t really get a chance to see him much. Anyway, I’m sad to be the bearer of bad news, but here goes. The thespian world heaved a collective sob of anguish as silver screen darling Amanda Bynes announced her early retirement. Us Magazine reports,

You won’t be seeing Amanda Bynes on the big screen anymore.

The actress announced Saturday on Twitter that she was retiring from acting at age 24.

“Being an actress isn’t as fun as it may seem,” she wrote. “If I don’t love something anymore, I stop doing it. I don’t love acting anymore, so I’ve stopped doing it.”

“I know 24 is a young age to retire but you heard it here first I’ve retired,” she added.

Bynes — who hasn’t starred in a movie since 2007′s Hairspray — added, “I’ve never written the movies & tv shows I’ve been a part of. I’ve only acted like the characters the producers or directors wanted me to play.”

Just last Tuesday, she Twittered that her idols are “Marilyn Monroe (RIP) and Angelina Jolie.”

Bynes rose to fame on Nickelodeon’s All That and her own comedy series, The Amanda Show. She starred on her own sitcom, What I Like About You, from 2002 to 2006. She’s also appeared in feature films such as She’s the Man and What a Girl Wants.

Wow, I must be really stupid or something. I kind of had the impression that actors were supposed to play the characters that were written for them. Poor little rich girl. I don’t know what she’s going to do for money now. The royalties from her shitty movies can’t be all that great. There’s only one thing to do: make like her idol Marilyn Monroe and show her titties.

Pictures from her Maxim photoshoot earlier this year:

Mischa Barton is a Serious Actress, y’all.  She is a master of her craft.  Why, she’s almost as talented as an average preschool student with a bit part in the class play!  From Radar Online:

Mischa Barton has been filming a guest spot on the hit NBC crime show Law & Order: SVU but she hasn’t been winning any friends on set. According to a source, Mischa spent all day Tuesday flubbing her lines and the show only shot one scene the whole day – which turned into a 10 hour day because of Mischa’s mistakes.

“She only had seven lines, seven!” the source told RadarOnline.com exclusively about the recently out of rehab actress’ problems with her lines. “Each time she would mess up she would forget her lines and Mariska kept prompting her and saying ‘it’s your line Mischa’.”

According to the source, Mariska Hargitay and the cast and crew on set were losing patience with Mischa’s “unprofessionalism.” To her credit, the actress did apologize, saying “Sorry,” each time she missed her lines.

Oh, well, as long as she says she’s sorry then I bet everyone’s just fine with her being uselessly retarded.  That’s how it always works out when I get so drunk that I vomit at random on passersby and police officers.  When I drool and say “Urp… sorry,” they all just smile and shrug and then bust out with a song-and-dance routine about togetherness and understanding.  At least I think that’s what happens, but I’m usually passed out by that point, so it’s anyone’s guess really.

On set filming her Law & Order episode:

Someone sounds desperate for some work. Hippie child Mischa Barton let it be known that she doesn’t have a problem with nudity, as long as it’s artistic and it’s not nudity for the sake of nudity but it adds something to the story blah blah blah…Digital Spy reports,

The 23-year-old former OC star told Bang Media: “It all comes down to whether I trust the director or not.”

Barton, who has previously appeared nude in The Oh In Ohio and Closing The Ring, earlier revealed that her parents remain “confused and cautious” about her career.

Meanwhile, it was recently reported that Barton is being considered for a role in The CW’s Melrose Place remake.

Getting naked for a movie seems to be the solution for distracting people from the fact that you can’t act. See! Look! Booooobies! You don’t notice that I have the personality of a zip code in Ohio! I’m not sure who exactly would want to see her skinny, soggy behind, anyways. Perhaps cottage cheese fetishists? You people make me sick.