Just in time for the holidays, teen sensation Justin Bieber is getting his own toy and doll line that will feature “a variety of singing dolls, toys and plush teddy bears” perfect for the preteen or closeted pedophile in your life! The Daily Mail says:

Some of the dolls will include miniature instruments and a themed microphone that can also play 30 second clips of Bieber’s songs Baby or One Less Lonely Girl.

Prices for the dolls, which will be sold in Toys ‘R Us from December 4, will range from $8 for the bears to $28 for the singing figures.

They neglected to mention it in the PR release, but the doll is actually a life-size replica! Being leprechaun-sized to begin with really lends itself well to the doll-making industry.

You probably feel like you’ve seen more of Tiger Woods lately than you ever wanted to see in your life, but one place you weren’t seeing him these last two weeks was on commercials — and you probably won’t be any time soon. Undoubtedly bad news for Tiger, who earns nearly $90 million in contract endorsements with Accenture Plc, Nike, Gatorade, Tag Heuer, Electronic Arts and Gillette. Bloomberg reports

Advertisements featuring [Tiger Woods] have disappeared. The last prime-time ad featuring the golfer was a 30-second Gillette Co. spot on Nov. 29. Woods also was absent from ads on a number of weekend sports programs, including NFL games.

Then Toys R Us went and put his action figures on clearance, and now Gatorade has gone and pulled his drink. TMZ says

Gatorade is shutting down production of their special brand of Tiger Woods brew this month. Gatorade says Tiger Woods Focus Gatorade will conveniently be discontinued as of December 26.

I wouldn’t start stuffing my money in a mattress just yet. There are plenty of new, even bigger endorsement deals out there now that he’s been revealed as a whoremongering alcoholic. Like Trojan brand condoms, for instance. Or that website for married people who want to have affairs, Ashley Madison. Or Pfizer pharmaceuticals, Tiger’s one-stop shop for Ambien, Vicodin and Valtrex. And, of course, my personal favorite, the Fore-Par Golf Clean brand Ball Washer® — because Tiger knows what it’s like to have dirty balls!

The Sienna Miller Baroness action figure from the upcoming “G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra” was just released to toy stores nationwide this week — and of course, it’s not good enough for her. The NY Daily News says

Despite the honor [of being immortalized in plastic], the Brit has spoken out about her dismay over her Doppelganger. “My doll is cross-eyed and has the biggest chin you have ever seen,” she complained of the brunette Baroness doll. “She looks sort of possessed.”

I was all prepared to call her a spoiled ungrateful cunt until I got a look at the doll myself. Boy, she wasn’t kidding. That things is hideous. It looks like the Pileforth Academy headmistress from “Three Men and a Little Lady” in a leather catsuit. How’s that for an obscure referencej, bitches?

Promoting the movie with Karolina Kurkova (Cover Girl) and Rachel Nichols (Scarlett):

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin