Former Sports Illustrated model and “Planet of the Apes” star Estella Warren is in jail today after hitting three parked cars while driving drunk in L.A. last night. But wait — it gets better! After she was arrested for DUI, she then kicked the arresting officer and even managed to escape police custody by shimmying out of her handcuffs. I believe the term we’re looking for here is “balls-out.” TMZ says:

Warren was driving [just before midnight] in L.A. when she struck 3 parked cars in her Toyota Prius. Warren drove away but cops spotted her and placed her under arrest for driving under the influence, though not before she resisted and kicked an officer.

Warren was taken to the police station in handcuffs, and during the booking process she managed to get out of her handcuffs and then run out the back door! Warren was quickly recaptured.

Warren is being booked for felony escape, assault, hit and run and DUI.

As one law enforcement source [said], “She was really hammered.” Warren’s bail has set at $100,000.

You’d think Estella would be happy that she proved her agent wrong by actually getting arrested in this town after “Kangaroo Jack,” but no. Some people just don’t appreciate irony.

Oh, look — Estella’s boobs!:

Lucy Gordon, the British actress and model best-known for her role as reporter Jennifer Dugan in Spider-Man 3, committed suicide in her Paris apartment yesterday. According to the AP

Lucy Gordon was found dead two days before her 29th birthday. Police in the French capital said Miss Gordon’s body was hanging from the ceiling of her mansion block apartment.

It has emerged that one of Miss Gordon’s male friends was in the flat when her body was found. He told police he had been sleeping when the 28-year-old hanged herself.

The model… was being touted as the new Jane Birkin.

Geez, Spiderman 3 sucked, but it didn’t suck that bad. If anyone was going to hang themselves for it, it really should have been the director.