Katherine Heigl and husband Josh Kelley have officially adopted a 10-month old baby girl from Korea. They wrote on their foundation’s website

Katherine and Josh have named their daughter Nancy Leigh and she will go by the nickname Naleigh. She is named after Katherine’s mother Nancy and Katherine’s sister Margaret Leigh. Katherine, Josh and Naleigh are together and doing well.

Ugh, an Asian baby? Please. Those things are so 2005. Everybody who’s anybody knows that African babies are where it’s at nowadays. You’re better off sticking with a classic accessory like the Hermès Birkin bag or a nice pair of Stuart Weitzman boots. Unlike the Asian urchin, those things never go out of style!

Here’s a real shocker for you: Madonna’s unquenchable narcissism and obsession with working out makes her a less-than-ideal mother! Astounding, I know. According to Madonna’s former chef and house manager Eric Ienco, her children are lucky if they get to see her Madgesty for more than a half hour a day. He told the National Enquirer

“It’s a puzzle she wants to adopt again. She’s hardly ever with her children. She’s got two full-time nannies and one part-time nanny. So why adopt a kid if somebody else is raising them?

[Her day is rigidly planned --] she gets up and has a coffee, then she does two hours of yoga. Then there’s two hours of Pilates and exercise. That’s six days a week.

After that, she deals with her e-mail, her calls and the rest of her business. And after that, she spends maybe half an hour with the kids. If Lourdes comes in and says, ‘I want to see Mom,’ she is told, ‘She’s doing yoga’ - and Lourdes knows she can’t disturb Mom.

Madonna puts herself before her kids. When she adopted little David, he arrived at her home from Africa - and three hours later, she left to do Pilates. Wouldn’t you think she’d want to spend the entire day with her new son?”

There’s only one plausible reason she’s so desperate to adopt — viable pluripotent stem cells harvested from fresh kiddie organs. Mama doesn’t need a new pair of shoes; she needs a new liver and organic dermal reconstruction!

Madonna’s affairs with 22-year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz and whoremonger Alex Rodriguez may have squelched any chances of her adopting another child from Malawi. According to the NY Daily News

A senior official from Malawi’s Ministry of Women and Child Welfare Development… said morality plays a big part in the adoption process [in Malawi].

He said, “Madonna’s relationships may negatively affect the adoption of [ 3-year-old Mercy James]. The news she is linked to another woman’s husband and a young man less than half her age makes us question her morals.”

Well, I’m glad something finally tipped them off that Madonna wasn’t exactly a saint. You’d think the book of Sex pictures and the Penthouse spread might have sent up a few red flags before, but remember, this is Africa we’re talking about. I’m pretty sure the printed word is still a myth over there, much like “democracy” and “condoms.”

With Gwyneth Paltrow at the afterparty for the premiere of ‘Valentino: The Last Emperor’ last week: