Victoria’s Secret sexpot Adriana Lima is reportedly pregnant with her first child. Click the header image for a (LSFW, but still pushing it) pretty good idea where the baby will come from. The NY Daily News says

The stunner is nearly three months pregnant, according to a well-placed source. The gorgeous Brazilian… eloped with NBA beau Marko Jaric on Valentine’s Day of this year.

After coming face first out of Adriana Lima’s vagina, I think it’s safe to say that the rest of your life is all gonna be downhill from there. Poor kid.

UPDATE: Adriana’s rep just confirmed the pregnancy rumors.

Some swimsuit pics and backstage at the Victoria’s Secret fashion show:

I’m not exactly sure where the editors of Maxim went wrong with this year’s Hot 100 List, but I think a safe bet is sometime around the year 1996, or “the last time the words ‘Jennifer Love Hewitt’ and ‘hot’ were used in a sentence without referencing fudge sundaes” as it’s known to the rest of the modern world.

Your “Top 100″ — 1. Olivia Wilde; 2. Megan Fox; 3. Bar Rafaeli; i4. Malin Akerman; 5. Mila Kunis;6. Eliza Dusku; 7. Adriana Lima; 8. Rihanna; 9. Jordana Brewster; 10. Jennifer Love Hewitt:

The equally disappointing 31-100 listed after the jump

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I can think of only two reasons you wouldn’t want to look at these pictures of Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima in a bikini:

1. You’re gay

2. You don’t have opposable thumbs

Adriana’s super sexy swimsuit shoot for Victoria’s Secret Summer 2009 campaign:

Here’s a little news that ought to make you smile: attention whore Kim Kardashian found herself kicked off Miami Beach on Saturday to make way for a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot, presumably because they didn’t want her giant ass blocking the sunlight. The Daily Mail reveals

The reality television star was lapping up the paparazzi attention as she hit the beach in a black bikini, only to be told to move aside to make way for a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot. Photographers were assembled on the sand to snap the lingerie models for the grand reopening of the Fontainebleau Resort.

Never one to shy away from a photo opportunity, Kim, her younger sister and Kristin Cavallari conveniently appeared on the foreshore and proceeded to pose up for the cameras. However the black-clad trio were soon asked to leave by security guards.

There’s a much easier way to round up Kim Kardashian. Firing a pistol in the air and sending in a herding dog usually does the trick if you don’t have a cattle prod handy. So does waving a black man’s penis around or danglng in front of her face, just out of reach. Those dumb security guards were going about it all wrong.

Make way for genetic superiority:

The Victoria’s Secret Angels strutted their stuff down the catwalk at a lavish show the newly-renovated Fontainebleau hotel in Miami this past weekend. There were the requisite feathers, the elaborate costuming, the diamond brassieres, and oh, yes — the boobies. Boobies, boobies, boobies. I sure hope none of you girls out there woke up feeling good about yourselves today! Nothing’s a better antidote for self-affirmation and esteem like 800 pictures of the world’s most perfect bodies. If it makes you feel any better, angel Karolina Kurkova doesn’t have a belly button (close up here). They have to photoshop one on her in shoots. Disgusting freak. Anyway, if you’ll excuse me now, I have some cutting and purging to do. Laxatives don’t just ingest themselves, you know!