The Atlanta stripper who claimed to have had a one-night stand with a very-married Josh Duhamel didn’t just pass a lie-detector test last week — turns out she is also in possession of several racy texts sent from the Transformers star himself that categorically corroborate the alleged affair. It also helps that Josh went around the set of his new movie blathering about it to anyone who’d listen. Us Magazine says

Nicole Forrester didn’t seek out the the National Enquirer in hopes of a payday.

“Josh bragged about what happened on the set of his movie [Life As We Know It], and someone called the Enquirer with the tip,” [Forrester's lawyer said]. “The Enquirer then came to Nicole.”

Various women across the country have now come forth to claim their own dubious sexcapades with Duhamel, 34.

On Oct. 30, a woman named Serena called in [to a San Francisco radio station] to say that while the then-engaged actor was filming the Transformers sequel at a New Mexico Air Force base in 2008, he slept with her best friend who was stationed there.

I think the lie-detector test and the texts pretty well seal the deal. The only way that stripper could be more convincing is if she also had a signed and dated photo of the actor which read “I put my wiener inside you and moved it in and out, Love Josh Duhamel.” And with his stellar track record for subterfuge, I wouldn’t necessarily rule that possibility out yet. Remember, celebrities are notoriously fucking stupid. It’s the only reason I have a job.

Speaking of stupid celebrities, Lady Gaga in SoHo in a bra and g-string and lace table cloth:

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin is reportedly cheating on wife Gwyneth Paltrow with actress Kate Bosworth. Ooh, it’s about to get all kinds of Dynasty in here! According to Star Magazine

[Everyone is talking] about Chris Martin’s hot make-out session with a beautiful blonde who wasn’t Gwyneth Paltrow. In fact, the Brit singer was locking lips with his better half’s good friend, Kate Bosworth!

“I couldn’t believe my eyes,” an eyewitness [says]. “There was Chris totally making out with Kate in front of other people. At first I thought it might be Gwyneth, but when she came up for air, it was clear the woman was Kate!”

So Chris has a thing for pale, anemic-loooking blonds with bird necks, huh? I guess it’s the closest thing to making love to himself without actually having to use his own fist.

Kate showing nips in Tank magazine:

^{PHOTO SOURCE: Radar Online}

Only ten months after getting married, Josh Duhamel has been accused of cheating on wife Fergie with some second-rate stripper he met in Georgie. Radar Online says

Duhamel, 36, met stripper Nicole Forrester in early October at an all-nude club in Atlanta called Tattletales Lounge, where she performs under the name “Delilah.”

Forrester says Josh first identified himself as “JD”, and said [she] performed a nude dance for him and a male friend.

[Forrester and Duhamel] later exchanged phone numbers, and on October 9th, he called her and invited her to his $820-a night room at the St. Regis hotel, which led to sex, she says.

Forester passed a rigorous polygraph. Duhamel denies the report emphatically.

I don’t know about you, but I, for one, believe her. She’s about as convincingly female as he is convincingly heterosexual. That is, she looks like Carmela Soprano on roids and he looks like he should be walking a hairless Philippino on a pink leash through the streets of San Francisco.

Fergie forgetting she’s not supposed to have a penis and Josh playing prison bitch:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Remember the night cops were called to Jon Gosselin’s residence when he refused Kate entry to his home? It seems Kate’s 8-year-old daughters were the ones who made the call to their mother asking her to come get them because Jon was groping the babysitter and they didn’t like having to watch it. Ooh, Daddy likey! The kids, not so much. According to Star Magazine

Cara and Mady were so upset about Jon and sitter Stephanie Santoro — a wannabe nude model who he took on for sitting duties after meeting her in a bar — that they put in a panicked call to mom.

Kate rushed to the house but Jon wouldn’t let her in and cops were called after the parents of eight got into a screaming match.

So who is the latest woman in sleazy-stud Jon’s life? We have the full dirt from her ex-boyfriend, who calls her “crazy” and tells us: “That girl is a danger to the kids. My message to Kate would be to not allow her children to be around her.”

Wait, there’s more! Remember the Star Magazine reporter fired for doing sexy times with Jon? Now that he’s dumped her, she’s ready to talk. Kate Major told Life and Style Magazine

“Jon said he couldn’t be seen having a girlfriend, so he told me to drive to a neighbor’s house after midnight, when the kids were asleep. He said he’d pick me up on his four-wheeler, take me to his house and drop me off again at 6 a.m.

I was shocked and said, ‘No, I don’t feel right doing that. What if the kids wake up?’ He was like, ‘They’re not going to notice, they’re not going to see anything.’ He wasn’t nervous about it — I was.”

And of Jon’s relationship with Kate’s plastic surgeon’s daughter Hailey Glassman, she adds:

“When we were in the Hamptons, we were planning to go to Las Vegas. Now he’s taking Hailey — and that was a trip we had planned together. Jon told [me] he was going to Massachusetts to break up with [Glassman]. But when he left on June 23, [he] shut his phone off. When he finally called [me] back, he said ‘he needed to be single.’ He totally screwed me over and acted like a dirtbag.”

Well, good for him. Jon’s really doing his part to make sure that his daughters understand that a father’s love is conditional and their self-worth is really at the mercy of his wiener. It’s not like porn stars and strippers grow on trees, you know. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere!

With Hailey in France:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin

Both Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have publicly maintained that cheating had nothing to do with their split earlier this week. In fact, “nobody cheated” was pretty much the only quote they gave to Us Weekly. But methinks the couple doth protest too much! Radar Online says

Cheating charges are flying BOTH WAYS in the relationship now.

Fox News broke the story that Reggie saw text messages from Kanye West on Kim’s phone and “flipped out.” The messages were [reportedly] more than just friendly.

Now a sexy Latino model in Miami is claiming she had a [months-long] affair with Reggie that included hookups in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Miami and X-rated texts and phone messages, and [she] has been threatening to take her story public to the highest bidding magazine.

Kim was aware of the model’s charges and furious about it. The model did have video of herself in Bush’s house.

I just hope Reggie had the foresight to pee all over the model in the video. That way he and Kim could put aside their differences and get a “Wet ‘n Wild” sex tape box set in the works. I think I know a “golden” idea when I hear one!

Although it was rumored that Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson because he found texts from ex-boyfriend John Mayer on her phone, it looks like country music star Kenny Chesney may have actually driven them a part. According to Star Magazine

Jessica was openly flirting with Kenny earlier this month during a summer getaway — and [that] shameless flirtfest that proved to be the last straw for Tony Romo.

“She was giving him all her attention, and they seemed very intimate,” an eyewitness [says of] Jessica and Kenny’s cabana chat. “They were sitting so close, their heads were together.”

Tony “looked real jealous that she was talking to Kenny,” says a source. He angrily confronted his girlfriend… [and then] stormed off the beach.

For the last ten years, Kenny Chesney has been under the misguided impression you won’t figure out he’s bald as a fucking badger as long as he doesn’t take his hat off. He just found the only person dumb enough to actually believe it.

Jessica looking like a crazy homeless woman last week:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin, Pacific Coast News

Eddie Cibrian’s wife Brandi Glanville has left him after discovering he had been meeting with former mistress LeAnn Rimes on the sly at a friend’s house. According to Us Magazine

“Eddie and I have decided to take some time apart,” says Glanville, 36. “I want to do what is best for our children [Mason, 6, and Jake, 2]. Eddie and LeAnn [Rimes] deserve each other.”

The final straw came after Cibrian and Rimes, 26, were caught again together in the early afternoon of July 17 — four months after the news of their affair [first broke] — outside the Malibu home of Jeff Berger, a longtime friend of the singer. (News of Cibrian having another affair — with 24-year-old model Scheana Marie Jancan — also broke earlier this same month.)

Sources tell us that Rimes’ pal Berger has been facilitating similar meetings at his home for about a month and that Rimes and Cibrian also made use of a rental house on L.A.’s west side.

How do you expect a man to say no to a rack like LeAnn’s? At least not without looking down or sideways, anyway? The trajectory of those nipples would make it damn near impossible. I doubt he even had a choice in the matter.

LeAnn in L.A.:

“Jon & Kate Plus 8’s” Jon and Kate Gosselin have informed the public that they will be announcing a “life-changing decision” on the June 22nd episode of their show. MSNBC says

Many assume the couple will announce they’re getting a divorce. A source close to the situation says that Kate recently met with a divorce lawyer and Jon will file papers next week.

According to other sources who know the couple, [it's only a trial separation]. “They’ve met with a lawyer, but divorce is not a definite,” says the source. “Right now, it’s in the best interest to them — and let’s be honest, the show — to ride out a separation.”

No one likes to hear the words “life-changing decision,” but really, it could mean so many different things. I know the time mom and dad sat me down and told me my life was about to change, it had nothing to do with divorce. It was more of a “Dad’s decided he’s going to live the rest of his life as a woman” kind of thing. I guess we’ll just have to wait until Monday and see.

Oscar winning actor Morgan Freeman’s divorce from his wife of 25 years just got really ugly — accusations that he indulged in a decade-long affair with his own step-granddaughter are raising some serious eyebrows. The National Enquirer says

E’Dena Hines is the granddaughter of Morgan’s first wife, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw, and was raised by Morgan and Myrna “since she was a little girl.”

The relationship between the 72-year-old actor [and his 27-year old] step-granddaughter began when she was a teen.

“[When E'Dena] was a teenager, she and Morgan went to dinner at a friend’s house one evening. Both had been drinking, and when they returned home, Morgan attempted to have sex with her. They stopped just short of having intercourse,” the source, a close family insider [said].

Unbeknownst to [his wife], the relationship continued for years. E’Dena has also been Morgan’s escort to several public events.

“Nobody thought anything of it, because she would be introduced as his ‘granddaughter.’ It’s not technically incest, because they are not related by blood…[but] Morgan is trying desperately to keep his divorce out of open court so all the shameful facts won’t become public.”

The great thing about incest is that it virtually eliminates that awkward “getting to know you” phase. Plus, if either one of you ever needs a kidney, chances are good that you’ve already got a match. That’s what you call a win-win, baby!

E’Dena at the Dark Knight premiere with Grampy Mo:

60-year old singer Billy Joel and third wife Katie Lee, 27, are getting a divorce. The Examiner says

Joel’s rep said: “After nearly five years of marriage Billy Joel & Katie Lee Joel have decided to separate. This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. Billy & Katie remain caring friends with admiration and respect for each other.

But of course, there’s more to all this than mutual admiration and eternal pledges of friendship:

The 60-year-old singer has been jealous of his wife’s relationship with another man.

Is anyone really surprised by this? Here’s a beautiful woman entering her sexual prime, and he’s a goblin with old man penis. A rich goblin with old man penis, yes, but still a goblin with old man penis nonetheless. Too bad you can’t diddle a woman with your bank account.

Katie in a bikini and at some fancy party:

Rumors of infidelity have plagued Justin Timberlake for months now, and being spotted sucking face with someone other than Jessica Biel at a New York nightclub by a Twittering Lindsay Lohan isn’t going to help matters. Nine MSN says

Celebrity blogger Poison Ivy first spotted JT and [an] unknown girl, reporting on their site: “Spotted a very intoxicated JT at Avenue nightclub in New York’s Chelsea district Monday night, kissing, holding hands and canoodling with an unknown brunette in a white hat.”

Next thing you know, Lindsay Lohan, [who] just happened to be at the same nightclub, was on the case! She posted a pic of the place on her Twitter with the caption, “So dark- where’s jb cheater?”

Let’s not jump to conclusions here. For all we know, that “JB” stands for Jim Beam. It is Lindsay Lohan we’re talking about, you know.

Jessica arriving at Letterman last month:

Miss California Carrie Prejean might have taken an unpopular stance against gay marriage, but it’s come to light that her own mother feels a bit differently. Turns out ol’ Mommy Prejean is all about the poonanny herself! According to Star Magazine

Miss California USA’s own mother, Francine Coppola, was entangled in a lesbian love affair right up until the night Carrie placed second in the Miss USA contest!

Openly gay sales rep Valerie Vetrano tells Star exclusively, “Yes, Francine and I dated.”

Francine’s family knew nothing of her affair, although during her 1996 divorce from Carrie’s father both made gay allegations against the other.

I was going to try to find a lesbian spin on that old saying “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” but you’d be surprised how few metaphors out there reference patchouli and long-sleeved flannel.

At a press conference with Donald Trump and Shanna Moakler: