After it was revealed that Matthew Broderick had cheated on wife Sarah Jessica Parker last year, other reports of their marriage’s instability began to surface. Nine MSN says

[A] source said: “Sarah and Matthew have been struggling for years. Now that news of Matthew’s cheating has broken, they have decided to make things work - especially for the sake of their son, James.”

Another source said SJP had confessed that she and Matt “had been out of love for a long time, but remain married for their son. They are both great people but just not meant to be in a relationship.”

So all this time, Sarah and Matthew have been living a blah blahblahblah blah. God this is so boring. The only way it could be any worse is if I alphabetized it and then arranged it by molecular weight and relevance to the visions I experienced during my mock Klingon Rite of MajQa.

You got to hand it to Sienna Miller — when she fucks around with a woman’s husband, she doesn’t get weighed down with things like “shame” and “remorse” and “guilt.” She does it topless in the middle of the ocean while posing for the camera. The Daily Mail says

Sienna Miller has revealed the depth of her love for new boyfriend Balthazar Getty during a secret romantic break on the Amalfi Coast in Italy. The actress [and] the American TV and film star shared a kiss in a very public display of affection.

This guy is married with four kids, and she’s got her tits out and sitting in his lap like it’s topless fucking Christmas in July or something. Jesus. I’d say our only hope now is a carbon freezing chamber and a 600-year-old Hutt crime lord with a taste for herpes and RU-486.