It’s an ugly day for celebrity hair, folks. First up, Halle Berry’s new ‘do for her role in “Frankie and Alice,” in which she plays a woman struggling with multiple personalities. Yikes. I’m not sure which personality is responsible for that hair, but “Satan” or “man-hating lesbian” is probably a safe bet. No thanks. And then there’s talk show queen Oprah — turns out our lady O has a dykey little secret under that immaculately maintained wig! According to Star Magazine

When Oprah wants to go incognito, she simply takes off her wig to revealed a dyed-blonde buzz cut. “Nobody ever notices Oprah in the gym,” says an eyewitness. “She doesn’t wear makeup or a wig. Her head is practically shaved and she dyes the little hair she does have blonde. If she is recognized, it’s because of her voice!”

I don’t believe that for a second. I mean, come on. No way. Like Oprah ever goes to a gym. Pfft. The only thing that cow is lifting is maybe a deep-fried cannoli up to her big bullfrog mouth. Sorry, but I’m calling bullshit on this one, Star Magazine!

And speaking of bullshit, Kim Kardashian gets banged at the “Empowerment for Africa” dinner last night — and nary a black guy or a video camera in sight! Another Thanksgiving miracle?

Halle Berry was photographed in Vancouver on Sunday with a hairdo that finally answers the age-old question, “What would you get if you crossed Rick James with Justin Guarini and then put tits on it?” I don’t like to point fingers, but I’m pretty sure this is all Canada’s fault. Just like Alanis Morrisette and free health care.