Thousands of women and gay men gathered outside Leicester Square for “Sex and the City’s” London premiere yesterday. The big buzz, of course, was Sarah Jessica Parker’s hideous hat, which served as a welcome distraction from decidedly mixed reviews of the film. The Times of London says

“There may be a problem with a film when a narrator constantly tells you the meaning of what you have just seen. There may be a problem with stretching Sex and the City into a two hour and twenty minute film - it can feel like a never ending dinner party: however pleasant the courses, after a while you can hardly eat another one.”

But of the hat:

Parker topped her custom “pistachio prom-style” Alexander McQueen dress with a made-for-her hat from legendary designer Philip Treacy. Parker’s piece included butterflies, a giant lime-hued rose, some greenery and an acorn top.

All the hat was missing was a mischievous squirrel who pops out at regulated intervals while Benny Hill zips around on a tiny bicycle to campy theme music. That’s probably all the movie was missing, too. You can never have too many impish rodents in a movie, I always say. I also say “God’s wounds!” and “Galatiriel’s beard!” from time to time, but they don’t really apply here. It’s best to save those kind of spirited exclamations for a round of mead at ye old tavern or an online chat with your coven. Frolicsome squirrels, on the other hand, are always comedy gold.¹ You can quote me on that one.

¹_{“Caddyshack,” anyone?}

Paris Hilton has reportedly been blacklisted again — this time from the grand opening of fashion designer Alexander McQueen’s new store in L.A. According to Female First

British designer Alexander McQueen doesn’t want ‘The Simple Life’ star as a customer when he opens his stylish Los Angeles boutique next month. McQueen [added]: “If she comes past the shop, hopefully she will just keep walking.

For the record, McQueen’s not banning PETA or the Paint Panthers or carpet beetles. Just Paris Hilton. You could show up in blueberry shoes crying red wine tears and moth larvae and you’d still make it inside the shop before she did.

Paris Hilton hawking her new line of clodhoppers in Montreal: