A friend of mine recently introduced me to her boyfriend, and when he asked me what I did for a living, I replied, “It’s hard to describe, really… kind of a tasteful melange of social satire… you might call it a ‘provocative commentary’ on the dynamics of the culture of celebrity.” And then she said, “She puts up pictures of famous people’s tits all day.” Well, fuck her. I also put up pictures of famous people’s asses. Seriously, why do some people have to make things so one-dimensional sometimes? Jerks.

Ali Larter picking up change in a short dress and falling victim to the monological imperative:

Summer’s almost over, and the summer supererogative will soon mercifully come to end. I can’t tell you how much fun it is drumming up something snarky to say about generic blond actresses that appear to all have been cloned from the same generic blond host and their toned-to-perfection bikini bodies and porcelain Hollywood smiles. It’s like trying to make fun of the number 7. Your average person would say it couldn’t be done. But as you well know, I’m not your average person. Those standardized test they made me take in elementary school actually proved I was “special.” Suck it, Ali Larter!

Ali with her boyfriend on the beach: