S.S. Amy Winehouse Needs to Poop

I don’t know if Amy Winehouse is constipated or just trying to stave off a bout of explosive diarrhea from spraying out of her bottom. But what I DO know is that her ass should probably be measured with a protractor from here on out, because it makes a damn near perfect 45-degree angle. Isosceles …

Continue reading

Amy Winehouse Offends Zulu King

We all know Amy Winehouse is an affront to every sense when she’s awake, but did you know she offends even when sleeping? Digital Spy says, Amy Winehouse has reportedly offended Zulu king Goodwill Zwelithini during a drunken night out. The singer accompanied boyfriend Reg Traviss to the launch of the African-themed Shaka Zulu restaurant …

Continue reading

Amy Winehouse Looks Healthy

Happy Friday, bitches! But if you’re like me and Amy Winehouse, every day is Friday. Here’s Amy sloshing around town looking clean and sober. By which I really mean that she looks like the type of people who ride the bus around here. You know, the kind that smell like pee and swat at hallucinations …

Continue reading

Amy Winehouse is Getting Remarried

Amy Winehouse is all set to remarry ex-husband Blake Fielder Civil (whom she divorced in September of last year) and start having children — she’s even gone as far as to purchase a new home in Camden that’s roomy enough for a whole litter of crack babies. The Daily Mail says Winehouse, 26, is referring …

Continue reading

Amy Winehouse a “Demonic Child”

While other people are spreading goodwill and cheer, Amy Winehouse is busy doing the devil’s work, terrifying little elves and kicking men in the chestnuts. I think I just heard the baby Jesus cry. Digital Spy reports, Amy Winehouse has been questioned by police after kicking a theatre manager in the groin and yelling abuse …

Continue reading