“Comedianne” Kathy Griffin spent her New Year’s Eve co-hosting CNN’s End of the Year Countdown with Anderson Cooper, and by “comedianne” I mean “social wart” and by “co-hosting” I mean “bleating ‘Shut up! I don’t go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth!’ at an inaudible hecklers on live TV.” Good times. This is why you don’t hire Kathy Griffin to do anything except impersonate a woman at a drag show or feast on little children in her gingerbread house.

Everyone’s buzzing about CNN anchor Anderson Cooper’s comments about the Lohan family on “Live with Regis & Kelly” yesterday morning, mostly because he burned the hell out of them. Cooper said

“‘Living Lohan’ is just a train wreck, and I watched it for a while. And I finally said to myself, ‘I cannot believe I am wasting a minute of my life watching these horrific people. There’s this perfectly nice, allegedly a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60… I say that with concern and love. She allegedly wants to be a singer and or actor-slash-performer of some sort, striptease person, i don’t know.’”

Dina Lohan was, of course, outraged enough to contact the tabloids. Not CNN, not Anderson Cooper, not “Live with Regis and Kelly,” but the tabloids. She told OK! Magazine

“People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him.”

And Cooper mentioned her OK interview on his show 360 last night, saying

She probably didn’t even see [the 'Regis and Kelly clip] live because she was out clubbing, and you know, it’s on early in the morning, so she’s probably rolling home.

Sorry, but Dina Lohan just got schooled, owned, served and brought. All that’s missing is the front handspring round-off full-twisting layout at Nationals.

Shortly after being released from the hospital, Britney Spears was back up to her old tricks: driving around aimlessly, checking into hotels, and hanging out with Adnan Ghalib. Well, surprise, surprise, surprise! Britney’s daddy, however, was none too happy to learn about his daughter’s early exit from the psych ward. Page Six says

Jamie Spears is at the Beverly Hills Hotel, where daughter Britney holed up earlier in the day before leaving her car behind and driving away with Adnan Ghalib.An exhausted looking Jamie [wandered] the hallways with two burly security guards looking for Britney and clutching an envelope. The move came after he and wife Lynne Spears released a statement to CNN’s Anderson Cooper, expressing their frustration over Britney’s discharge from the UCLA medical center.

“As parents of an adult child in the throes of a mental health crisis, we were extremely disappointed this morning to learn that, over the recommendation of her treating psychiatrist, Britney was released from the hospital that could best care for her and keep her safe. We are deeply concerned about her safety and vulnerability, and we believe her life is presently at risk. We ask only that the court orders be enforced so that a tragedy may be averted.”

It’s just like that old saying goes — “you can take the crazy out of the hospital, but you can’t take the retard out of Britney Spears.” Have truer words ever been spoken?

Same old Britney: