The thing that sucks about winter is you get way less hot bikini action than you do in the summer. Fortunately, Victoria’s Secret has taken it upon themselves to rectify that injustice by putting pics of Candice Swanepoel in a bikini in their holiday catalog. Which ultimately begs the question, is that a yule log in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? Beats the hell outta ten lords a-leaping, I can tell you that.

Megan Fox’s career hasn’t exactly taken off since she abandoned the Transformers franchise — “Jonah Hex” and “Jennifer’s Body” were both huge box office flops, and her latest movie “Passion Play” is being sent straight to the five-dollar DVD bin at your local Wal-Mart. The Daily Mail says:

The 24-year-old actress’ movie Passion Play premiered at the Toronto Film Festival in September but is now being released — straight to DVD.

After numerous viewers walked out of the screening in Canada last year and critics branded it ‘awful’, a ‘mess’ and ‘an absolute car wreck’, the distributes have apparently cut their losses.

Passion Play is about an angel who is under the thumb of a ruthless gangster and is saved by a trumpet player down on his luck.

There’s “wooden,” and there’s “catatonic,” and then there’s Megan Fox. She makes Jessica Simpson look like Meryl fucking Streep.

Screen caps from the movie:

Now here’s a costume that’s all trick and no treat! The trick of course being “an enormous shoehorn and two industrial-sized tubs of Crisco.” Mariah would have made a much more convincing Huttese crime lord or Outer Rim gas giant.

Cheesah beecha wonky Chewbacca:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online

Even MORE of Fatty Fatty Fat Fat after the jump!

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