Ever heard the expression “too much of a good thing?” Well, after looking at these pictures of Victoria’s Secret Angels Miranda Kerr and Candice Swanepoel, I’d say it’s pretty obvious that’s a goddamn dirty lie propagated by the Fat Girl Agenda. Don’t let yourself become a victim of their subterfuge and their strawberry cheesecakes!

I know you’re as sick of hearing about Tiger as I am of writing about Tiger, so here’s a little change-of-pace palate cleanser for you: Victoria’s Secret Angels Alessandra Ambrosio, Doutzen Kroes, and Candice Swanepoel frolicking on the beach in bikinis. I may not have a beard or a red suit, but sometimes a faint mustache and forty extra pounds are all you need to be Santa. So Merry Christmas, jerk offs!

More Yuletide cheer after the jump.

Candice Swanepoel:

Doutzen Kroes:

Alessandra Ambrosio:

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

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Here’s a little news that ought to make you smile: attention whore Kim Kardashian found herself kicked off Miami Beach on Saturday to make way for a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot, presumably because they didn’t want her giant ass blocking the sunlight. The Daily Mail reveals

The reality television star was lapping up the paparazzi attention as she hit the beach in a black bikini, only to be told to move aside to make way for a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot. Photographers were assembled on the sand to snap the lingerie models for the grand reopening of the Fontainebleau Resort.

Never one to shy away from a photo opportunity, Kim, her younger sister and Kristin Cavallari conveniently appeared on the foreshore and proceeded to pose up for the cameras. However the black-clad trio were soon asked to leave by security guards.

There’s a much easier way to round up Kim Kardashian. Firing a pistol in the air and sending in a herding dog usually does the trick if you don’t have a cattle prod handy. So does waving a black man’s penis around or danglng in front of her face, just out of reach. Those dumb security guards were going about it all wrong.

Make way for genetic superiority: