What the hell is going on with Sarah Jessica Parker’s hands? I’ve seen roosters and velociraptors with less frightening talons. I think it’s pretty obvious that an old fakir put a spell on it to punish those who dare to interfere with fate. Don’t ask it to grant your wishes, it’s a trick!
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Lindsay Lohan hasn’t had a real job since “Labor Pains” went straight to DVD two years ago, but it hasn’t stopped her from spending money like a drunken sailor on shore leave. According to Radar Online
“Lindsay owes credit cards $600,000,” a source [revealed]. “One card cut her off last week and it’s only a matter of time before all her other credit cards cut her off too.”
Lohan used to make a good chunk of change by doing club appearances, but the invites are becoming sparse and the starlet gets only from $5,000 to $10,000 at most.
“One credit card company is going to discuss a payment plan for Lindsay,” the source continued. “But if she doesn’t have the income and can’t make her payments, they are prepared to sue her.”
Fortunately, she can always fall back on mass-releasing a sex tape. It’s Lindsay’s financial ace in the hole, as it were. The real fun will be seeing just how many “aces” wind up in her “hole” once the video finally hits the internet.
At Coachella with her ratty-ass sister Ali:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
If Sarah Jessica Parker gets any goddamn skinnier, I’m pretty sure she’ll qualify for citizenship in Senegal, Burundi, and most of Southeastern Africa. But unless she’s hard up for fly-infested bowls of gruel or yellow fever, there’s not much to do there except die of malaria or butcher political moderates and line the streets with their carcasses. Not exactly a place you’d go to “get away from it all,” as it were. Unless by “all” you meant “medicine and technology,” in which case, enjoy your trip.
UPDATE: The official Trailer for Hex and the Pity Sex and the City 2 after the jump:
I’d rather find a horse’s head in my bed than this fug mess. God damn:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
I’m sure you lay awake at night worrying about it, but now you can finally rest easy — Nicole Richie never actually had an eating disorder after all. The Daily Mail says
Nicole has come forward [in the March issue of Marie Claire UK] to reassure fans she has always been healthy [and] blast critics who had accused her of suffering from an eating disorder, [saying], “I felt it was a little unfair to say someone has an eating disorder when they don’t. It’s extremely insulting and irresponsible.”
Nicole revealed she is naturally skinny and finds it difficult to put on weight. “When I was heavier, everyone said I was too heavy,” [she said]. “You can’t win in the public eye and I find it really hard. So I ignore it now, I really do.”
I guess “ignoring it” really means “discussing it at length it in a two-page article in a major women’s magazine with an international fan base.” Someone should really tell my ex-boyfriend that’s he’s been doing it all wrong for the last two months.
In the March 2010 issue of Marie Claire:
These pictures of Lake Bell at the L.A. premiere of “It’s Complicated” have raised an alarming question: is Lake Bell anorexic? Which leads us to another even more important question: who the fuck is Lake Bell? Unfortunately, we may never know.
Who feels like ribs:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Katie Holmes sported the world’s most unflattering pair of denim shorts on the set of her new straight-to-DVD movie “The Romantics.” Really, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a severe case of White Man’s Ass. It looks like her buttocks were pounded out using the broad side of a snow shovel.
With “True Blood’s” Anna Paquin yesterday:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Sheesh, Miranda Kerr has gotten awfully bony lately! Her new, skinnier figure might be due to an attempt to get into the world of avant garde modeling. Says Daily Mail,
The former Maybelline model – the world’s tenth highest earning model – has been much in demand for the lingerie brand, and for swimwear shoots for magazines such as Sports Illustrated.
But the 26-year-old Australian cut a distinctly emaciated on a fashion shoot for magazine Grazia in Sydney.
From the back she looked virtually unrecognisable as she posed in a tightly laced corset on the rooftop of the Museum of Contemporary Art.
Miranda’s ribs protruded, and her skin was tightly stretched across her bony back. Her thin arms also looked extremely sinewy.
The reason for the Australian’s sudden weight loss is not exactly hard to fathom.
It seems her ambitions to do high fashion modelling were realised earlier this month she made an appearance on the catwalk for Balenciaga, the fashion world’s coolest label right now.
miranda kerrThe model’s girl next door look was erased and she was unrecognisable in straightened slicked back hair and heavy catwalk eye make up.
In case you don’t remember, this is what she used to look like. My daddy always said that wasting curves on a woman was criminal–which I suppose is why he’s in the county jail for being a pimp.
Don’t make fun of skinny girl Victoria Beckham! She might attack you with her Clavicle of Doom! Says Now Magazine:
Victoria Beckham is tired of people criticising her about her weight.
The former Spice Girl insists she’s not concerned about her small frame.
‘Of course I eat,’ she says. ‘I’ve been accused of not eating for 10 years. If I hadn’t eaten for 10 years, I’d be hungry…
‘I think there’s a big difference between someone having an eating disorder and someone who is controlled about what they eat.
‘I think I could do with putting on some weight but this is the way I am.’
Victoria admits she finds the jibes distressing.
‘I’m not anorexic or bulimic and I’m not a skeleton,’ she protests. ‘It’s so upsetting. I’m seven and a half stone. I’m very fit and healthy and I feel great.
‘I haven’t changed what I eat. I just feel my metabolism has changed as I’ve got older.’
“If I hadn’t eaten for 10 years, I’d be hungry…”? No, actually, you’d kind of be dead, Einstein. Of course you eat something. I bet she really chows down on some high-calorie watercress sandwiches, (hold the butter, cream cheese and bread). I bet she eats enough to sustain a 3 year-old Ethiopian. Nowadays, she could probably eat circles around Michael Jackson. Madam, you make me ill with your unbridled gluttony. I bid you good day!
When did Renee Zellweger get so fat? I mean, you can’t even see the separation between the ulna and the radius in her forearms. Gross. Time to get your fatass on a treadmill and an enema in your pooper, NeNe! Those pounds aren’t going to just magically disappear on their own, you know!
Arriving to Good Morning America yesterday:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin
Meet little Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay lives in a small North American village known as “Los Angeles,” estranged from her twice-incarcerated alcoholic father and small-time child pimp mother. She is just one of the hundreds of celebrities waiting for a sponsor like you. For less than $600 a day, you can give her a chance to escape impending bankruptcy by providing her with some of life’s basic needs* — cocaine, semen, and imported vodka. Won’t you call today?
*No goats or chickens, please.
Celebrating her birthday a week early in Vegas:
Tori Spelling has repeatedly denied that she suffers from an eating disorder, but it’s pretty apparent from these pictures that she’s a full-blown anorexic. For Chrissakes, look at her arms. Gross. I’ve seen starving horses pulled out of makeshift barns on “Animal Precinct” that didn’t look that disgusting.
Leaving Mr. Chow’s with husband Dean:
In even more pill-popping news, it’s being reported that Lindsay Lohan’s drastic weight loss comes courtesy of a prescription for the ADHD drug Adderall. According to Us Weekly
Lohan takes Adderall, a prescription drug usually given to people for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, to lose weight.
“She takes Adderall all the time,” one source told Us. “She gets jittery because of the way the pills affect her. It’s a major reason why she’s losing weight.”
And that’s not the only drug in her repertoire — sources say she’s still hooked on the white stuff. You know — the “throat candy.” “Man butter.” “Jizz.” Unfortunately, with semen’s current legal standing in the United States, it’s going to be damn near impossible to wean her off the stuff. Now we just wait for the inevitable moment when she asphyxiates taking two cocks at once and her addiction will tragically cum come full circle.
Many celebrities have an addiction to prescription medication, but only few of them enter a prescription drug abuse treatment program.
At the teen.com premiere of Haute and Bothered with sister Ali:
