Sienna Miller won an apology from from the New York Times after they posted a list of the many dudes she’s fucked in Hollywood over the years. The Daily Mail says

Sienna has a reputation for enjoying high-profile relationships and has previously dated Jude Law, Rhys Ifans and Balthazar Getty.

But the paper added to her well-documented relationship history, [linking] ‘Serial Miller’ to Sean Combs and the late Heath Ledger.

It later apologized: ‘An article… about Sienna Miller misstates the nature of the relationships that she had with Heath Ledger and Sean Combs. She was friends with both of them; she did not have romantic flings with either of them.’

Well, since the New York Times is extending the olive branch, I think I’d like to take this opportunity to tell Sienna Miller I’m sorry. Sorry she’s such a slut, that is! Ha ha! I bet it feels like you’re feeding a goddamn horse when you put your hands down that girl’s pants.

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Chris Brown has finally apologized for beating the hell out of ex-girlfriend Rihanna half a year ago. Like they say, timing is for pussies! He says in the video

“Hi, I’m Chris Brown. Since February my attorney has advised me not to speak out, even though since the incident I wanted to publicly express my deepest regret and accept full responsibility.

Although I would do some interviews and answer some questions in the future, I felt it was time you heard directly from me that I am sorry. I have tried to live my life in a way that would make those around me proud of me, and until recently, I think I was doing a pretty good job. I wish I had the chance to live those few moments again, but unfortunately I can’t.

I cannot go into what happened, and most importantly, I’m not going to sit here and make any excuses. I take great pride in me being able to exercise self-control and what I did was inexcusable. I am very sad and very ashamed of what I’ve done.

My mother and my spiritual teachers have taught me way better than that. I have told Rihanna countless times, and I’m telling you today that I am truly, truly sorry, and I wasn’t able to handle the situation both differently and better. I recognize that I’ve truly been blessed. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful family, wonderful friends and fans. God has been generous in giving me the ability which has brought me fame and fortune.

I have done a lot of soul-searching, and over the past several months I’ve talked with my minister and my mother, and I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened and why. I have let a lot of people down, and I realize that.

No one is more disappointed than in me than I am. As many of you know, I grew up in a home where there was domestic violence and I saw firsthand what uncontrolled rage could do. I have sought and am continuing to seek help to ensure that what occurred in February can never happen again.

As I sit here today I can tell you that I will do everything in my power to make sure that it never happens again, and I promise that. What I did was unacceptable, 100 percent. I can only ask and pray that you forgive me, please. I hope that others learn from my mistakes. I intend to live my life so that I am truly worthy of the term ‘role model.’ Thank you.”

Unfortunately, Chris never once apologizes for being dressed like a gay chef. I think we can all agree that’s just inexcusable.

Remember when Perez Hilton got punched right in his big fat puss at the Much Music Awards earlier this week? Remember how he called Will. I. Am “faggot” and “motherfucking liar” and swore up and down that it was Will. I. Am who assaulted him? Yeah, not so much. Turns out the man who struck Perez was Will. I. Am’s road manager Polo Molina, and now Perez is filing a civil lawsuit against him. TMZ says

Hilton is suing Polo Molina for battery and an intentional infliction of emotional distress. The suit wants payback in excess of $25,000.

Hilton’s attorney released the following statement:

“Perez Hilton files this lawsuit to protect his freedom of speech and seeks legal redress against those who have physically assaulted him because they do not like his review of their album. Whether you love Perez or hate him, he is entitled to his freedom of speech without fear of physical violence. This lawsuit will make the statement that violence is never the answer.”

And now, Perez is apologizing — not to the man he wrongly accused of assault; not to the woman he called a “fugly bitch” and on whom he routinely draws wieners; not to GLAAAD for his using of a homophobic slur; not to Isaiah Washington for publicly campaigning for his termination from “Grey’s Anatomy” for having said the word “faggot;” and not to Jesse Metcalfe for writing that Metcalfe deserved the beating he got outside a Hollywood night club last year — but to himself, for being such a poor helpless victim. He writes on his site:

I am speaking out because I realize that the last few days have been more hurtful to me - and many others - than the repeated blows I suffered to my head in Toronto this past weekend.

I am sorry that any good work I have done for promoting equality may be tainted by me reclaiming a hurtful word - that’s been personally used against me and the gay community - to hurt someone that was verbally attacking me. It was stupid.

The “F” word will never be uttered from my lips again. I challenge [others] to remove it from their vocabulary as well.

I should have been the bigger man and walked away from an unfortunate situation. Instead, I chose… to stand up for myself and only made things worse by how I - under pressure, anger and extreme emotion - handled the situation.

I am NOT apologizing to GLAAD. I could care less about them, my former employers.

I am apologizing to the gay community and to all the people who have ever emailed me to thank me for all that I have done to fight for gay rights over the last few years.

I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

And I will continue to speak out for equality and support the great work done by LGBT organizations, such as LAMBDA Legal and HRC.

Sincerely,
Perez

I really think the cab driver in “Old School” said it best: “I recommend you stop being such a faggot.” It’s the very same advice I gave my kid when I dropped him off at summer camp.

Christian Bale finally spoke out on Friday on KROQ’s Kevin and Bean show to apologize for his expletive-ridden rant on the set of Terminator Salvation. Seriously, hotness covers a multitude of sins, so his seemingly heart-felt and humble apology sanctifies him in my book.  In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen!

MSNBC recaps his apology:

“I have no confusion whatsoever, I was out of order beyond belief,” Bale told the Kevin & Bean show. “I was way out of order. I acted like a punk. I regret that. And there is nobody that has heard that tape that is hit harder by it then me.

“I make no excuses for it, it is inexcusable. And I hope that that is absolutely clear,” Bale said.

“Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m a lucky … I don’t want to swear … I’m a lucky s.o.b. I never forget that and that is why I put so much into what I do. Please, if anybody ever sees that I really am thinking that I’m better than anybody else, stick a fork in my backside, turn me over, I will be done. That is not me.”

For those of you who haven’t seen Family Guy’s spoof on his rant:

Hi guys and dolls, it’s Sonya. Sorry to pull the ol’ rug out from under you, but Abby is taking one more week off to recoop, but I can promise you she’ll be back all bright eyed and bushy tailed next week. Oh, and I apologize in advance if the posts seem to be a bit later than usual–I’m on the West Coast and so my head is barely peeking out of the covers when all you East Coasters have already been up for a few hours. But don’t worry, I can’t really sleep in. I have four animals that all demand to be fed as soon as the sky starts getting light, plus a five year old. Anyhoo.

A whole week after singer Chris Brown was busted for smacking his bitch up, he finally managed to issue a public “apology” I’d say better late than never, but Chris has perfected the art of apologizing without actually admitting wrongdoing. New York Post elaborates:

The R&B singer, who was busted after allegedly beating his girlfriend, pop star Rihanna, said he was “sorry and saddened” - but also bashed the media for mostly getting the story “wrong.”

Brown, 19, took a full week to make the statement, which doesn’t even mention Rihanna by name. Nor does it give his version of what happened Feb. 8 between him and the 20-year-old singer in Los Angeles.

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired,” Brown said.

“I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones, and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person.”

“Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong,” Brown said, without pointing out specific examples.

Yeah, uh-huh. There’s not much that drives me up the wall about these celebrity types as when they do something stupid/illegal and drag God into it. I’m pretty sure the big G-O-D doesn’t sit up there chatting with JC and the Holy Spirit, and he turns to them and says, “Yo, that Chris Brown, he’s my bro. Yeah, so he beat up that Reena or Rhinoceros or whatever that dumb broad’s name is, but man, she deserved it, yo. Bitch was provoking him. I’ve got his back. Me and Chris, we’re like this!“, as he crosses his gigantic glowy index and middle fingers.

Juuuuust don’t see it happening.