Demi did it, Britney did it, and Christina did it — now it’s Jessica Simpson’s turn to show off her naked pregnant body on the cover of next month’s Elle magazine, in which she reveals she and fiance Eric Johnson are having a little girl. Jessica’s father Joe Simpson was later quoted as saying, “I just hope she gets her momma’s double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

That marine that took Mila Kunis to the Marine Corps ball back in November will probably spend the better part of 2012 in Iraq or Afghanistan braving zealots with homemade explosives in 120-degree heat and hoping not to have an appendage blown off in a roadside attack, but I’d still trade places with him in a second. He got to take Mila Kunis to the grown-up prom. If you live your life according the laws of WB teen dramas — and who doesn’t, really — showing up with the Prom Queen makes you the default Prom King, and being Prom King is the only thing that matters.

Adriana Lima and Doutzen Kroes are both ridiculously hot Victoria’s Secret models, but it’s clear from this photo shoot for V Magazine that the two of them have lost way too much weight. They’re all elbows and knees and right angles. Getting in on that girl-on-girl action would probably be the tactile equivalent of jerking off with a pile of wire hangers.

If you smear enough Vaseline on the lens and photoshop fifteen pounds off her, Christina Hendricks looks alright. It’s what we in the industry refer to as “the Jose Cuervo effect.”

Katy Perry is depicted as an overly-made-up showgirl in next month’s Interview magazine, but how you tell the difference between overly-made-up showgirl Katy and Katy every other day of the week is beyond me. I’m just hoping this is Interview’s way of secretly burning her with irony.

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