Have you ever heard of Monet? Cezanne? Van Gogh? Morons. Heidi Montag Pratt’s Playboy spread makes those look like clumsy fingerpaintings.Digital Spy reports,

Spencer Pratt has claimed that his wife Heidi Montag’s Playboy shoot is “beautiful art”.

The reality TV star spoke out about his partner’s photographs in the adult publication at last week’s G.I. Joe Hollywood premiere.

“[The photos are] beautiful art,” he told Access Hollywood. “Not, like, Picasso art - real beautiful art, you know what I’m saying?

“[Playboy] kind of had a vision… and we brought in Matthew Rolston, who is a very well-known, amazing photographer. So, it’s more art.”

The Hills star poses for the cover in a bikini with the Playboy bunny logo tanned on her stomach.

Speaking about Montag’s figure, Pratt added: “See her powerful curves. They are powerful! It’s an honour. I feel like I did something great, like I should get a trophy!”

Montag’s Playboy issue is published on August 14.

Personally, I’d like to see Heidi’s body abstracted into little bits like Picasso’s women, wouldn’t you?

At the G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra premiere, where for some reason she’s brought along her Playboy. Good god, does she sleep with it under her pillow, too?

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There’s a good way to tell if what you’re looking at is “art” or “porn.” It’s called a monacle and top hat. If you’re wearing one, it’s art. If you have your fist around your penis, it’s porn. A gentleman should know the difference.

Naked Bar Rafaeli in a new Israeli “art” video:

BONUS: Bar Rafaeli and Marisa Miller & friends in bikinis in the new Aerosmith video after the jump

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Oh look, wee tiny Brangelinas.  Made out of lipstick.  How… nice?  Okay, they’re being auctioned for charity, so I guess it’s pretty nice.  Cosmetics site feelunique.com teamed with artist Willard Wigan to sculpt miniatures of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie out of lipstick after they topped a poll for the world’s most kissable lips.  Wigan spent more than 50 hours carving the micro sculptures, which each measure a scant 9mm in height and 4mm in width.  Now they’re being auctioned as a set, with all proceeds going to Breast Cancer Campaign.

Here’s artist Willard Wigan with the sculptures, and I seriously love how he’s looking at them like he wants to bite their heads off:

Sex and the City’s Kim Cattrall is taking off her clothes again, this time as part of a campaign to raise $100 million to keep a Titian masterpiece on public display in Britain. The Daily Mail says

The 52-year-old actress duly rose to the challenge, holding her own among the nubile young bodies who were assembled to recreate Titian masterpiece Diana and Actaeon.

BBC Two’s The Culture Show teamed up with artist and photographer Tom Hunter to create a modern-day version of the artwork. For the recreation, Cattrall posed alongside the cast of cult cabaret production La Clique.

It’s amazing the power that boobs can wield. From saving art to convincing the masses to spend their faltering U.S. dollars on overpriced chicken wings and Axe Deodorant Body Spray, boobs make the world go ’round. I’ve stopped referring to mine as “breasts” in favor of the more empowering “Weapons of Mass Destruction.” Mostly because people start screaming and scrambling for the exits like I’m brandishing a goddamn bomb whenever I pull my top off. I guess sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world, people feel like they just can’t take it.

Technically but barely NSFW:

Digitial Spy reports,

A collage portrait of Paris Hilton made from porn magazines has gone on show at a New York gallery.

British artist Jonathan Yeo is behind the work, which was purchased by Damien Hirst ahead of last night’s opening.

A similar image of President Bush also forms part of the exhibition, reports The Associated Press.

A gallery spokeswoman said the Hilton portrait is titled “Paris, 2008″ and posters of it will be sold for $20 (£10.80) each.

Yeo is offering the star proceeds from the sale of the posters because she never received any money from the notorious 2004 sex video that starred her and then-boyfriend Rick Salomon, the spokeswoman said.

When trying to capture their subject, an artist is faced with the task of trying to find the medium that will best convey the vision the artist is trying to express. Hell, I couldn’t think of a better way to get at the very essence of what Paris is about: sticky pages from porn mags! The only way it could get any better would be to have a frame made out of unused condoms (because you know she doesn’t bother with those) and the packaging from Valtrex. What do you think Yeo used as glue? You decide.

Paris at her clothing line launch in Milan

When I first read about this, my immediate thought was, What, Britney’s going topless so people will throw clothes at her? Or maybe she’s going to feed the hungry with the leftover cheeseburger bits and Bacos stuck in her bellybutton? The truth is a lot more boring, since the picture of her that’s being auctioned off on eBay is actually a painting of a photo of a topless Britney. Way to pull a fast one, Britney! Actually, that painting would look awesome in my living room next to panther floor lamp. I’m off to place my bid! I sure hope they take Monopoly money.