After looking at these pics of former Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue covergirl Brooklyn Decker in GQ, I’m convinced I could totally be her body double. In that it’d take two of her to make one of me. The only thing that I have in common with this woman is that I also sweat when I struggle to sit up.

Apparently Leighton Meester’s ass has the density and gravitational pull of dying star, because those bikini bottoms can’t escape her crack. Not that I’m complaining or anything.

In Rio with her new hippie boyfriend Aaron Himelstein:

Remember how Paz de la Huerta was naked before? Yeah, well, she’s still naked. Calling her a one-trick pony would be an insult to ponies everywhere.

No.3 Saguaro Series James Macari photoshoot:

Fanboys are all a-twitter today because Warner Brothers released the first full pic of Anne Hathaway in her Catwoman costume in “The Dark Knight Rises” (click here for the full-length version). They also released some of Bane and Batman, too, but really probably as more of a courtesy to “certain actors” *cough* Christian Bale *cough* so he didn’t get his feelings hurt. We all know how sensitive “certain actors” can be.

Anne Hathaway might be in a skintight leather suit, but Paz de la Huerta is completely naked. Check and mate, Catwoman!

Now there are ten more pics of “Boardwalk Empire’s” Paz de la Huerta flapping her ass cheeks all over creation in a black and white photo shoot for some snooty foreign photographer, and naturally I assumed you’d want to see them. Unless of course you’re one of those people who believes there’s such a thing as TOO much ass, in which case you are dead to me. And also probably gay.

See more of her nude here, here and here:

Paz de la Huerta might be famous, but she starts her day just like the rest of us — bent over with her ass cheeks spread. Welcome to corporate America, Paz!

Paz de la Huerta spreading it all over Cafe de Flore in Paris for photographer Olivier Zahm:

Welcome to nylon and spandex purgatory, or else this is part of some scared-straight program for wayward bikini fabrics. Either way, I’m done with cottage cheese for the next few weeks. Ugh.

Kim and Kourtney Kardashian in the Dominican Republic this weekend:

This Nicole Richie is too fat. This Nicole Richie is too thin. This Nicole Richie is just right. Hopefully this is the part of the story where the bears come back from their walk in the woods and find her in Baby Bear’s bed and maul her.

There’s a poop deck or a seamen joke in here somewhere, but I’m too hungover to go with anything other than “Hey, look — boobs!” And before you say something about how lazy I am, just know that I know that googling “celebrity nipslip” and “Demi Moore bush pictures” is how half of you wound up here in the first place, so don’t even act like you’re disappointed. Perverts.

Bar Refaeli for Aqua Bendita and Passionata:

Now you can honestly say that you’ve seen Coco’s ass from every angle imaginable. I thought that was only possible with one of those bullet time cameras they used in the Matrix.

I had to Google Arianny Celeste to find out that she is most famous for being a “UFC Octagon girl”, which I guess means she carries around an octagon-shaped board with a number on it. I was trying to figure some way to insert a joke about the ring and an octagon and her boobs, but I figured you wouldn’t be paying attention anyway. Am I right? Right? Hellooooooo?

This is the best Demi Lovato’s looked since she got out of rehab and got all fat. I don’t know if it’s the angle or her position or what, but I’m inclined to believe I would in fact hit that. I know, I was just as surprised as you are.

At the Sheraton Hotel in Chile: