The NY Post’s Rush and Molloy ran the following blind item today:

Which floundering pop star is hoping a clothing line will rehab her nonexistent singing career?

Coincidentally, floundering pop star Avril Lavigne announced that her new clothing line “Abbey Dawn” is set to launch in Kohl’s department stores mid-summer. Coincidentally! Us Weekly says

The threads (ranging from $24 to $48) mimic the singer’s signature skater-girl-chic style and include hoodies, jeans and tees in bright colors and skull and zebra patterns. Lavigne, who had a hand in collaborating on designs, plans to wear the line during her Best Damn Tour, which launches this month.

For a limited time only, buy a pair of glittered Converse or fingerless gloves and receive a travel-size pink hair mascara FREE! And with every purchase over $100, you’ll receive your very own Abbey Dawn brand plastic tubing and medical-grade double-lined bag — yours to keep!^* Now you, too, can have the Insufferable Douchebag^TM look made famous by pop’s punk princess. Coming to Kohl’s July 2008!

_{*Vinegar and fountain syringe sold separately. Prices and participation may vary. See participating Kohl’s stores for details.}

Airbrushed in this month’s Maxim:

In the tradition of such great European endeavors as the Spanish Inquisition and the Treaty of Versailles, Europe voted Avril Lavigne the “Solo Artist of 2007″ at the MTV Europe Video Music Awards last night. According to People Magazine

Avril Lavigne rocked the MTV Europe Music Awards in Munich Thursday night, winning two of the show’s top prizes. Lavigne picked up the Most Addictive Track trophy for “Girlfriend,” as well as the Solo Artist of 2007 award – to which the 23-year-old screamed with delight to the packed auditorium: “I am so happy, this is an honor!”

This just confirms my suspicion that Europeans are grossly incompetent. I guess you just can’t have France a part of your “union” without getting some of their stank on you. Sorta like scabies or the clap. Look, if it weren’t for Belgian waffles and Vienna Sausages, Europe would have probably succumbed to small pox and the white man years ago. And then what would you have? A bunch of eyeliner-wearing douchebags in leather who are terrified of horses and anything without a regular 4/4 beat and a 120 bpm tempo.