Move over, Apple Blythe Paltrow-Martin and Sparrow James Midnight Madden — there’s a new ridiculously-monikered celebrity baby on the block! The Daily Mail says:

[Pregnant singer Pink] has revealed she has picked out the name Jameson for a boy after her favorite whiskey.

She told Access Hollywood: “My dad’s name is James, and my brother’s name is Jason. [Carey and I] are both Irish, Carey’s middle name is Jason… and we like whiskey. That’s a no brainer.”

And while she isn’t certain of the baby’s sex, her doctor did accidentally hint that they might be having a girl.

I can’t believe more people haven’t taken to naming their offspring after hard liquors before. Black strippers might have a corner on the Tanqueray, Alizé and Cristal market, but the rest of the single-grain spirits are wide open for the taking. So for those of you out there in readerland who are expecting, I’ve made a list of the top ten whiskeys that would make a perfect name for your bundles-of-joy-to-be. Bottoms up, bitches!

TOP TEN WHISKEYS YOU COULD NAME YOUR CHILD AFTER

10. Canadian Mist

9. Buffalo Trace

8. Georgia Moon

7. Ezra Brooks

6. Chivas Regal

5. Templeton Rye

4. Johnnie Walker

3. Dixie Dew

2. Old Gristmill

1. Black Velvet Deluxe

Sarah Jessica Parker’s surrogate reportedly gave birth to twin girls today. According to TMZ

The babies were born this morning at the East Ohio Regional Hospital in Martins Ferry, according to [local radio station] WTRF.

The station is reporting Matthew and Sarah are currently at the hospital with the surrogate, and will make an announcement about the newborns later this afternoon.

I don’t know a lot about animal husbandry, but I do know that horses usually only give birth to one foal at a time, and in the rare case that there are two fetuses, one of them usually doesn’t survive the birthing process. Good thing Sarah Jessica didn’t try to carry the twins to term herself! That could have been a disaster.

UPDATE: People Magazine is reporting that they named the twins Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick. I guess “Future Dyke” and “Fatty-to-Be” were already taken.

SJP, or Madonna/Macbeth witch hybrid?:

Adult film star Jenna Jameson gave birth Monday morning to twin boys. Us Weekly says

Being able to give birth to two healthy babies is joyful for Jameson, a self-proclaimed devout Catholic. “It was all in God’s plan,” she told Us two years ago.

You remember God’s plan. It’s in the Bible. Right under “thou shalt not do black guys, neither do you anal” and “remember the wiener and keep it lubricated.”

Vintage mommy: