Wow, Playboy is really going to the dogs. Your favorite washed up train wreck, wonky-tittied Tara Reid, is reportedly stripping for Playboy! Digital Spy reports,

American Pie actress Tara Reid has allegedly stripped for an upcoming issue of Playboy.

According to reports, the 33-year-old star posed for the cover of the legendary men’s magazine in Santa Monica on October 7.

“She was a bit insecure about her body when they first started,” one source told In Touch Weekly.

“She looked great and finally got into the groove.”

Reid has yet to confirm or deny the claims.

Oh, I get it. It’s for their Halloween issue, right? Right? Please?

Hangin’ free in Cannes:

I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure using an Exacto knife and a cigarette lighter isn’t the best means of repositioning the nipples after breast augmentation. Unless MacGyver was Shauna Sand’s plastic surgeon, those tits are completely inexcusable.

Topless pics (obviously NSFW):

If you ever wondered what Gollum might look like as a post-op transsexual in a cheap wig, wonder no more. I bet Benjamin Button’s head looked just like Tori Spelling’s left tit when he first started to crown.

In Mordor Palm Springs with her kids and husband this weekend:

Where do bad folks go when they die? I don’t know. But wherever it is, it’s pretty obvious from these pictures that Pamela Anderson has frequent flier miles there.

Mickey Rourke strikes me as the kind of guy who bypasses the shower for those all-purpose body wipes so popular with hobos and truck stop hookers. Nothing about that man looks clean. And I bet you’re wondering, “What the hell is wrong with his damn face?” Well, it appears that he had laces sewn into the back of his scalp. You just pull those strings taut and voilà — the ol’ mug is tighter than a drum! And besides, scalp-laces are really the only logical explanation for his hair. No person in their right mind would put their fingers in there. Ten bucks says that ain’t Brylcreem, boys and girls. I’d rather stick my hand in a shark’s mouth.

With the lovely Maggie Grace at The Wrestler premiere:

Maggie Grace:

The only time I’ve ever seen something more googly than Tara Reid’s nipples in these pictures, they were perched on top of the head of a furry blue monster screaming “Me want cookies! Rmmm rmm rmm rmm!”

Presenting her “Mantra” clothing line in Athens November 11th:

If Nikki Cox was going for that Han-Solo-frozen-in-carbonite look, congratulations. She fucking nailed it.

More of Nikki and husband Jay Mohr at the People’s Choice Awards nominations yesterday: