Sienna Miller’s mum, Jo, is upset at the “feeding frenzy” surrounding her daughter’s illicit shenanigans with Balthazar Getty, and wants the big fat bullying internet to stop being so nasty.

Jo told U.K.’s Daily Express yesterday,

“You can’t understand how a woman seeing a man who has been separated from his wife [Rosetta Getty] for months can cause such a scandal. It’s awful, I can’t tell you. You wonder when it’s all going to stop.”

Well Jo, maybe if your trampy daughter stopped hanging around outside naked with other women’s husbands, she might not end up crying at the Kwik-E-Mart because people call a spade a spade. Maybe if she put some clothes on and refrained from giving anyone a public tongue bath for more than two consecutive weeks, the whole world might stop calling her a dumb slut. At this point, I think it would be fair to say that the average person could provide a medically accurate diagnosis of Sienna Miller’s breast health.

Despite his friends’ claims that he just wants to save his marriage, dumbass Balthazar Getty was spotted slipping Sienna Miller the tongue outside a Malibu grocery store over the weekend . According to Female First

Sienna had been waiting in a car as Balthazar - who spent the weekend trying to save his marriage to estranged wife Rosetta - rode his bicycle up and down the pavement of Malibu Colony Plaza Shopping Center checking for paparazzi. After giving her the thumbs up to signal that the coast was clear, [Sienna] left the car and [kissed him before] going into the store.

Balthazar continued to check for waiting photographers on his bike as Sienna, 26, shopped.

Maybe scoping out the scene from your ten-speed did the trick back in celebrity pioneer times, but this is the 21st century. We have such advances as “the horseless carriage,” “the flying machine,” “the differential analyzer,” and “the telephoto lens.” Balthazar might want to look into that. Also maybe self-respect.

Sienna Miller has been calling and texting married lover Balthazar Getty non-stop since discovering that he returned home to attempt a reconciliation with wife Rosetta. A source told The Daily Mail

“He told her he was going to LA to work and see his kids. But the reality is he is desperately trying to get back with his wife. He realizes he’s made a terrible mistake. He is trying to keep Sienna at arm’s length and hasn’t told her it is over yet so she is going frantic.”

In case you didn’t know, Balthazar Getty is a former drug addict and alcoholic who is currently undergoing counseling. Apparently, he only became involved with Sienna after taking a swandive off the sobriety wagon. The source adds:

“The reason the whole Sienna fling happened was because he fell off the wagon. He stopped ringing his counselor and stopped going to meetings. Him not being sober is the key to the whole mess. As soon as Balthy arrived back in LA he started pleading with his wife to take him back. He told me he’d gone to their house [and] stood outside crying. He was on the phone to Rosetta on and off for two hours, crying and constantly calling.

In his mind he has definitely dropped Sienna.”

The shoe doesn’t feel so good when it’s on the other foot, does it? Hmm… maybe I should use a more Sienna-friendly metaphor here. Let’s see… oh, I know — the wiener doesn’t feel so good when it’s going in the pooper, does it? Prepare for the kind of hemorrhoids of that can’t be soothed with medicated wipes!

Old pics of her in a bikini:

More of her topless adulterating last month:

In case Balthazar Getty’s wife and mother of his four children hadn’t seen those photos of her husband and Sienna Miller cavorting topless in a Italian villa boudoir last week, Sienna pranced around for a public titty-mauling in full view of God and the paparazzi on Friday. So much for subtlety, right? The only way this could be any more demeaning for poor Rosetta is if Sienna also took a dump on the picture and then slapped her in the face with it.

You got to hand it to Sienna Miller — when she fucks around with a woman’s husband, she doesn’t get weighed down with things like “shame” and “remorse” and “guilt.” She does it topless in the middle of the ocean while posing for the camera. The Daily Mail says

Sienna Miller has revealed the depth of her love for new boyfriend Balthazar Getty during a secret romantic break on the Amalfi Coast in Italy. The actress [and] the American TV and film star shared a kiss in a very public display of affection.

This guy is married with four kids, and she’s got her tits out and sitting in his lap like it’s topless fucking Christmas in July or something. Jesus. I’d say our only hope now is a carbon freezing chamber and a 600-year-old Hutt crime lord with a taste for herpes and RU-486.

Sienna Miller is busy playing homewrecker since dumping actor Rhys Ifans for ex-boyfriend Matthew Rhys — she’s now porking Balthazar Getty, a multi-millionaire oil heir with a family of four. According to The Mirror

Balthazar is married with four children. His furious wife is speaking to divorce lawyers. It is not yet known if Sienna will be named in any court papers. Balthazar secretly flew to London and Prague to be with her. She has spent last week in a Hollywood house with him. The pair have been holed up day and night with each other

“This behaviour is typical Sienna. She loves the power of being able to take a man off another woman,” says a friend of Matthew’s.

I don’t like to brag, but I’m well on the way to being a millionaire myself. And I didn’t even have to use my vagina to break up a happy home! All I had to do was deposit a check from this Kenyan whose uncle died and then send him back the wire fees. Not to mention I’ve already won the British International Lottery. Twice. And I’ve never even been to Engand! Can you believe that? I’ve already sent them my checking account and routing numbers; now I’m just waiting for the deposit. I guess I’m just what you folks might call “lucky!”

At “The Edge of Love” premiere in Scotland:

At the same premiere in London: