I think famed French novelist Alexander Dumas was right when he said, “Woman inspires us to great things… and prevents us from achieving them.” Unless he was talking about being inspired by a woman to achieve an orgasm by your own hand, in which case he was dead fucking wrong. There’s a whole goddamn industry for that.

Bar Rafaeli’s new shoot for Rampage (old one here):

PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer-Griffin Online

The 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Explorer’s Edition Portfolio contains tons of bikini-clad pictures of models Bar Rafaeli, Brooklyn Decker and Hilary Rhoda (just to name a few), although I’m not entirely sure what makes it the “Explorer’s Edition.” Perhaps there’s a mariner’s guide to the Straits of Magellan and a crudely-drawn map to the Lost City of Gold in the back. You know, in case you feel like rubbing one out on the legend of El Dorado instead of Bar Rafaeli’s face. I’m sure that happens a lot if your last name is Pizarro.

A crew member put up several behind-the-scenes shots of Bar Rafaeli’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition shoot on Twitter today. The Daily Mail says

Bar Refaeli didn’t disappoint as she posed for the 2010 Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition in several bikinis throughout the course of the day – and she looked fantastic in all of them.

The 24-year-old looked to be having a ball as she joked around with the crew during the shoot at an undisclosed location.

In one shot the model is pictured wearing huge sunglasses and in another she cheekily pulls down her bikini strap while posing with the magazine staff.

So gorgeous, smart, and self-effacing to boot? Some people might say she sounds like the perfect woman. Well, I beg to differ. I say sweaty, stubby and inconsolably bitter is where it’s at. Call me, boys!

Victoria’s Secret Angel Bar Rafaeli has signed on to be the new face of Rampage clothing. I guess signing on as the new “tits and ass” of Rampage clothing just sounded too declassé.

_{Video NSFW}

There’s a good way to tell if what you’re looking at is “art” or “porn.” It’s called a monacle and top hat. If you’re wearing one, it’s art. If you have your fist around your penis, it’s porn. A gentleman should know the difference.

Naked Bar Rafaeli in a new Israeli “art” video:

BONUS: Bar Rafaeli and Marisa Miller & friends in bikinis in the new Aerosmith video after the jump

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These pictures of supermodel Bar Rafaeli are in Italian, but lucky for us, “titties” are a universal language. Buon appetito!

I’m not exactly sure where the editors of Maxim went wrong with this year’s Hot 100 List, but I think a safe bet is sometime around the year 1996, or “the last time the words ‘Jennifer Love Hewitt’ and ‘hot’ were used in a sentence without referencing fudge sundaes” as it’s known to the rest of the modern world.

Your “Top 100″ — 1. Olivia Wilde; 2. Megan Fox; 3. Bar Rafaeli; i4. Malin Akerman; 5. Mila Kunis;6. Eliza Dusku; 7. Adriana Lima; 8. Rihanna; 9. Jordana Brewster; 10. Jennifer Love Hewitt:

The equally disappointing 31-100 listed after the jump

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