Larry King and Shawn Southwick have temporarily halted all legal activity in their divorce proceedings for the next two weeks, probably because that’s how long it takes for Larry’s Metamucil to kick in and produce a bowel movement. TMZ says

Larry’s attorney [said], “Larry and Shawn met with the counselor today. It was decided that there will be no divorce activity for 2 weeks as several issues need to be discussed and resolved.”

[It should be noted that] Larry and Shawn have not withdrawn their respective petitions for divorce — they’ve simply decided to refrain from making any legal moves.

But Larry might change his tune when he finds out his wife has been bagging the kids’ little league coach (MySpace profile pic here) the whole time he was helping him with his “acting” career. Radar Online says

[Baseball coach] Hector Penate grew extremely close to the family, with the children “idolizing” him and the Kings taking him everywhere with them, including on shopping trips and amusement park visits.

But he was having an affair with Shawn.

Penate confirmed the affair with Shawn in an interview with Entertainment Tonight. When asked if Shawn had discussed divorcing Larry, he answered, “All the time… Don’t worry, he’s going to die soon.”

Shawn was attempting to hook up Hector with her husband’s agent and Larry was also helping. “Larry was more concerned with his kids’ baseball careers, so he was willing to help out Hector to keep him happy. [Hector] was with the family almost every day.”

I’d think it was kind of weird if my coach started hanging out with my family all the time, but then again, I thought it was weird when my coach wanted me to stick around after practice so he could give me wine coolers and pull down my pants in the equipment closet. I guess that’s just what they mean when they say “Coaches touch so many lives.”

Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant and tried to tell us it was because Pete Wentz inserted his Tab A into her Slot B?  Well, listen, I don’t want to shake the foundations of anyone’s reality or anything, but Pete Wentz wears more eyeliner than I do, minces around in ladies’ jeans, has a pixie haircut, and pitches a baseball like he’s flinging rose petals at a Miss America coronation.  I think Ashlee Simpson has some explaining to do, because you’d have an easier time getting viable sperm out of a Bratz doll than from Pete Wentz.

Sporty Spice throwing the first pitch at the Dodgers game:

Denise Richards absolutely butchered “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at Cubs game charity event over the weekend. Ho-ly shit. She’s unbelievably bad. You half-expect to see glasses shattering and windows splintering as they pan over the stadium crowd. On the plus side, we finally have an answer to the age-old question that has plagued non-veterinarians for centuries: what does a cat being neutered sounds like? Now you’ll never have to wonder again!

Denise’s Funny or Die Funbags commercial after the jump

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