
Howdy y’all, it’s 2010! Welcome to the future, bitches. It’s Sarah, and I’m sorry to inform you that Abby’s been chained up in Mariah Carey’s basement unavoidably detained, and y’all are stuck with me until February. Don’t fret though, pets. She’ll be back in time for Valentine’s Day, so you’ll still be able to pretend you have a girlfriend again this year.
Oh hey, speaking of delusional lunatics, Lindsay Lohan spouted a bunch of New Year’s nonsense on her Twitter over the weekend. From People:
Having said buh-bye to 2009, Lindsay Lohan is gearing up for a drama-free New Year.
“2010 is about moving forward, not backwards. Leaving the bad (people, habbits [sic], and negative energy behind) time to make changes-right!?!?
” Lohan, 23, tweeted from St. Barts, where she’s been spending time onboard Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich’s yacht.
As Lohan vowed on her Twitter page, “Starting my new year off with friends&family, the way it should be….. No boyfriends and the other drama.” Lohan’s message threw cold water on recent reports that have romantically linked her to DJ Jus-Ske and model Adam Senn.
While 2009 saw the actress sign a lucrative deal with fashion house Emanuel Ungaro, costar with Robert DeNiro in the film Machete and channel her humanitarian spirit by heading to India to meet with exploited children, she also had her fair share of drama: a very public split from deejay Samantha Ronson, countless rumors of random hookups and bad behavior, and in October, having a Beverly Hills judge extend her probation by a year.
Still, Lohan, won’t let the detractors get her. “To answer everybody’s question … My new years resolution is to stop letting the lucky few that have my heart, try2constantly tear me down,” she Tweeted. “Everyone get ready for more (but positive-LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!!)”
Yeah. Sure. Because nothing says “drama free” like LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!!
Lindsay is currently in St. Barths with her sister, doing… some stuff. Lounging around and shopping, apparently, which means her “vacation” is exactly like every other day of her life. I’m pretty sure that at this point, the earth’s magnetic poles would actually reverse if this bitch ever got a real job for even one afternoon.
Clomping around in ridiculous shoes and then copping a squat in the Louis Vuitton store:















