The 61st Annual Emmy Awards were last night, and instead of doing my standard best dressed and worst dressed posts, I’m going to try something different: being positive for a change. Yes, this year’s fashion review is going to take a page from the current politically correct climate in which nothing’s anyone’s fault and everybody who participates gets a gold star. Mediocrity is the new black! So, first up on my Best of the 2009 Emmys list is actress (?) Phoebe Price. Phoebe wins “Best Old Lady Beaver Flash” (closeup here). How’s that for a little “red carpet” action? Get it? Red carpet? Because she’s a redhead… and, you know… carpet and the drapes — oh, just forget it. I’m going to go ahead and give myself a gold star for that joke anyway. See, everybody wins!

The Best of the Rest after the jump

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The 81st Annual Academy Awards were last night, and as expected, “Slumdog Millionaire” cleaned house. Not literally, of course. It wasn’t a movie about Mexicans. Maybe what I should have said was “cleaned the Slurpee machine.” God knows I don’t want to come off sounding like some kind of racist. People Magazine says

Slumdog Millionaire racked up eight Academy Awards, including those for Best Picture and for its Director, Danny Boyle.

But it was not the underdog, The Wrestler star Mickey Rourke, who was named Best Actor. That Oscar category was won by Sean Penn, for Milk.

Kate Winslet was named Best Actress for her role… in The Reader. She confided to the audience in her acceptance speech that she first pretended to win an Oscar when she was 8 and looking in the bathroom mirror, holding a shampoo bottle. Only, Sunday night on the stage, she was holding a world-famous golden statuette. “Well,” she said, “it’s not a shampoo bottle now.”

The late Heath Ledger was named Best Supporting Actor for what presenter Kevin Kline called his “menacing, mercurial, droll and diabolical” role as the Joker in The Dark Knight. Penélope Cruz took the Best Supporting Actress in Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

[While nominated for 13 awards], The Curious Case of Benjamin Button [only]… ended up with three Oscars, for Art Direction, Makeup and Visual Effects.

I could keep going with this, or I could just read aloud the 1992’s census report while smearing Vick’s Vapo-Rub into your eyes. You’ll get the same feeling either way.

The night’s best-dressed below; for the complete list of winners click here.

Anne Hathaway:

Amy Adams:

Marion Cotillard:

Penelope Cruz:

Natalie Portman:

Brad and Angelina:

Honorable mentions Alicia Keys, Taj Henson, Diane Lane, Marissa Tomei and Robin Wright-Penn (just for the back):