Billy Bob Thornton is speaking out on ex-wife Angelina Jolie’s relationship with Brad Pitt, and as you’d expect, it’s all very deep and insightful. Female First quotes him as saying

“She is just going through a high school phase. You know, dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though.”

Well, when I woke up from that dream, it was right in the middle of the part where Brad was stroking my hair and running his mouth over my heaving bosom. Right before the part where he morphed into a snake with four heads and eagle claws and two little girls on tricycles started circling around me chanting in Latin. See, this is exactly why you never take a bunch of valium to come down off an acid trip. Better to do it the old-fashioned way and drink whiskey until you pass out. The more you know!

Vintage Jolie goodness: