Billy Bob Thornton might be best known for playing a matricidal retard armed with a kaiser blade — some folks call it a sling blade — but God forbid you mention his acting career when he’s promoting his shitty music. MSNBC says

That’s the lesson “On Q’s” Jian Ghomeshi learned when he dared to mention Thornton’s vast résumé before interviewing him and his Boxmasters bandmates. By the time Ghomeshi pitched his first question to the star, he was face-to-face with a belligerent Billy Bob.

Even a softball query about how long ago the band formed was met with a brusque “I don’t know what you are talking about” and “I’m not sure what that means” from Thornton.

During the 13-minute interview, Thornton denied knowing Willie Nelson (with whom he’s currently touring), answered music inquiries with facts about movie-monster magazines, and then finally admitted he resented all the Hollywood mentions.

“You wouldn’t say [are you passionate about music] to Tom Petty, would you?” a visibly agitated Thornton mumbled.

As soon as Billy Bob started that shit, Ghomeshi should have broken out with “So, you like them French fried potaters?” and “You funny ‘ha-ha,’ or funny queer?” and then shoved a 19th century Boston tea table in his stupid smarmy face.

Actor David Duchovny and wife Téa Leoni announced yesterday that they are separating, but NOT because David’s a pervert who just spent a month in sex rehab (although I’m sure that couldn’t have helped). The real reason behind the split? According to the Daily Mail:

It was not his ’sexual compulsion proclivity’ that caused the break-down of their marriage, but rather his discovery of explicit text messages on her mobile phone sent by actor Billy Bob Thornton. Five-times married Billy Bob met Téa when they made a comedy film together earlier this year called Manure.

The couple are separating after 11 years and two children.

Going from Fox Mudler to that deviant who used to pork Angelina Jolie during the heroin and cutting phase is like swapping out Marv Alberts for the goddamn Marquis de Sade. I hope Téa invested in a good genital cuff and several different kinds of broad-spectrum antiviral agents, because you can bet your sweet bippy she’s gonna need ‘em.

Billy Bob Thornton is speaking out on ex-wife Angelina Jolie’s relationship with Brad Pitt, and as you’d expect, it’s all very deep and insightful. Female First quotes him as saying

“She is just going through a high school phase. You know, dating the quarterback of the football team with Brad Pitt over there. She’ll be waking up from that dream in no time. Who knows if I’ll be there when she’s ready to come to her senses though.”

Well, when I woke up from that dream, it was right in the middle of the part where Brad was stroking my hair and running his mouth over my heaving bosom. Right before the part where he morphed into a snake with four heads and eagle claws and two little girls on tricycles started circling around me chanting in Latin. See, this is exactly why you never take a bunch of valium to come down off an acid trip. Better to do it the old-fashioned way and drink whiskey until you pass out. The more you know!

Vintage Jolie goodness: