Billy Ray Cyrus just doesn’t understand why daughter Miley’s pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards earlier this month was such a big freakin’ deal. It’s just a 16-year old in hot pants squatting around a pole, and besides, if there’s anything Hollywood has taught us, it’s that hypersexualizing teenage girls always has a happy ending. Just ask Britney Spears! He told Us Magazine

“You know what? I just think that Miley loves entertaining people,” he [says] of his 16-year-old daughter, who swirled around a pole attached to an ice cream truck during her performance of “Party in the USA” Aug. 10.

“I always tell her to love what you’re doing and not worry so much about opinion. I give my kids a lot of freedom. I think it’s important.”

Trish and Billy Ray really should’ve named her Fancy instead of Miley. They already put her in a dancin’ dress (okay, dancin’ shorts) and whored her out uptown. “Just be nice to the gentlemen, Fancy, and theyll be nice to you!” It’s almost like Reba McEntire wrote that song just for her.

Whoring out her new Max Azria line for Wal-Mart:

Miley Cyrus and Justin Gaston are through with their pedophilic shenanigans.  I guess either his shelf life expired or she got too old for him.  Either that or she got bored with playing out her daddy issues for the international press.  From E! Online:

The 16-year-old starlet has ended her nine-month romance with the 20-year-old underwear model, sources close to the duo exclusively confirm to E! News.

The Hannah Montana star called things off last week as she prepared to leave Los Angeles for two months to shoot her Nicholas Sparks movie, The Last Song, in Savannah, Ga.

Speculation of trouble peaked yesterday when the two simultaneously twittered about tears and goodbyes.

A source close to the couple says both of them are really heartbroken over the split.

Well, that’s pretty lame and boring, but there’s apparently more to the story.  Supposedly, it was a Jonas Brother who drove a wedge between the knicker dummy and the hillbilly:

Gaston, a Louisiana native, has told pals that the star’s resurrected friendship with Nick Jonas this spring was his Achilles’ heel.

“She obviously has been hanging out with Nick again a lot, and Justin was cool with it at first, as long as it was just a cool, friendly thing,” says an insider. “She didn’t cheat, but I guess Nick was trying to get her back the whole time.”

Yeah, that’s still totally boring.  I can’t even put into words how little I care about some dirty old man panty mannequin’s angst, or about Hannah Montana and Little Jonas dry humping each other whilst praying or whatever.  Everyone involved in this nonsense is creepy and disgusting.

Miley Cyrus is a no-talent hellspawn, so it pleases me immensely that Justin Gaston (that 20-year-old underwear model living in her house) told reporters at the CMA Awards on Wednesday night that they’re “just friends.”  From Access Hollywood:

NASHVILLE - Miley Cyrus has been spotted everywhere recently with model and aspiring singer Justin Gaston, but the 20-year-old former “Nashville Star” contestant denies having a relationship with the 15-year-old Disney star.

“Oh, just family friend, you know,” Gaston said at the CMA Awards on Wednesday night.

“I met Billy Ray on the show and just became friends with the whole family. And they’re such a great family,” Gaston continued. “I moved (to LA) two years ago and started a modeling career and that’s kind of just to break into the music business and everything.”

Oooohhhhhh, I see.  So he’s really doing the dirty with Billy Ray?  It’s all starting to make sense to me now.

Miley, Billy Ray and Justin at Wednesday night’s CMAs:

Last week, it was widely rumored that Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus wanted off Disney gold mine “Hannah Montana” so that Miley could focus on her singing career. TMZ reported

Our spies on the set tell us Miley has bragged that she will get fired, making it clear she wants to focus on singing and not the show. For his part, Billy Ray has also made it clear that there is more money in singing than a Disney cable show. The father-daughter team has been showing up to the set ridiculously late, stalling production and infuriating cast and crew.

Billy Ray has told people on the set that he and Miley will do 12 more episodes and then they are out. Disney was so pissed they called his agent, railing that Billy Ray and Miley [will] not only finish the 24 episode season, but [that] Disney was adding six more episodes.

But now that the Disney machine’s gotten a hold of her, Miley’s singing a different tune. Get it? Singing? Ha ha! Try not to cut yourself on my rapist’s wit. Miley told People

“I am fully committed to Hannah Montana. It’s what gave me this amazing opportunity to reach out to so many people. We have an amazing cast that is so supportive, including my dad who has been there for me every step of the way. I’m really excited about our new season. We are making great new episodes that I can’t wait for our fans to see.”

Oh, that’s right, bitch. When Disney says jump, you say “how high?” And also, “how far should I spread my cheeks apart?” and “do you want me to bend over, or should I just kneel?”

At the Coffee Beam Tea Leaf in Toluca Lake on Friday: