A new pic of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in the upcoming Avengers movie hit the interwebs today, so in honor of my fellow fanboys, I’m passing it along to you. Even if the angle in the picture makes it look like a still from a damn hemorrhoid commercial. Like they’d say, “Hemorrhoids got you feeling like this?” and then cut to that image, then close in on a tube a tube of ointment being held in a gloved hand and then back to Scarlett, who’s now smiling confidently because her asshole is no longer on fire. It really kinda ruins the whole boner-factor altogether.

Attention fanboys everywhere: first pictures of Scarlett Johansson as the Black Widow in the new Iron Man sequel are here! The Soviet-trained femme fatale’s main mission in the movie is of course seducing Tony Stark, but she’s not all bad, you know. In fact, in the comics, the Black Widow actually becomes one of the Avengers herself and helps run S.H.I.E.L.D. when Tony Stark is presumed dead during the Superhero Civil War, right before she rescues future Captain America Bucky Barnes from the Red Skull’s minions during the current Skrull invasion. By the way, just knowing that cuts your chances of getting laid nearly in half. If you’re not already living in your mother’s basement and watching Battlestar Galactica, I probably should have warned you before you started reading.

Oldie but goodie Esquire pics: