This is Blake Lively on the set of “Gossip Girl” yesterday.  I’ve never seen an episode of “Gossip Girl”, because I’m not a junior high girl or a 39-year-old gay man, but I’ve seen a lot of pictures of the people on that show and it’s obvious to me that the wardrobe department hates them all.  Every last one of these fools is always dressed like a jackhole.  Just look at this butt ugly dress they’ve stuffed Blake Lively into.  She looks like Grey Gardens Barbie.

Blake clearly understands the best way to detract from a hideous outfit is to bring as much focus as possible onto your boobs:

If you had any doubts that Blake Lively got breast implants, you can put them to rest now. If her tits were any further apart they’d need separate zip codes.

CW11 Upfronts at Madison Square Garden:

The good thing about girls with moley tits is that you always have an excuse to stare at their cleavage. And when they get all huffy and make some comment about your gaucheness, you can just stroke your chin and say, “As a doctor, I have to express some concern about that mole on your chest. The (choose one of the following: asymmetry, color, raised edges) could indicate squamous cell carcinoma, the second most common cancer of the skin. Do you mind if I take a closer look? It’s okay, because I’m a doctor.” It helps if you keep a stethoscope and mirrored headband in your pocket for authenticity’s sake. And then when they get close, use the mirrored headband to look up their skirt while taking a cell phone picture of their “mole” (re: boobs) “to send to your lab for analysis.” It’s like taking candy from a baby. I find girls are real suckers for potentially-fatal incurable diseases! And if that doesn’t work, there’s always rohypnol and zip-ties.

Easy mark Blake Lively and her moley boobs at the Vogue Fashion Fund awards: