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Rumors are flying that 25-year old singer Lady Gaga has started bathing in blood as part of a Satanic ritual meant to ward off evil spirits (no, really) after maids found the bathtub in her London hotel room covered in what appeared to be blood. The Daily Mail says:

Staff at the plush Intercontinental Hotel in London were shocked when they went to clean Gaga’s room and found blood in the bath.

However, the red substance has not been identified as blood.

One housekeeper [said]: ‘Lady Gaga left large amounts of blood in the suite during a stay this summer. The incident was reported to the concierge, who was told to put it out of her mind.’

‘All of the hotel’s staff are convinced she was bathing in it or, at the very least, using it as part of one of her new costumes or weird stage routines.’

Gaga is believed to be terrified of evil spirits and reportedly has every hotel and tour venue scanned by a team of paranormal investigators before she will agree to stay there.

The Edge of Glory singer allegedly splashed out £30,000 on state of the art Electro Magnetic Field meters to detect spectres.

Now, we don’t know that she was bathing in blood for sure. Maybe she just put on her meat dress and rolled around in the tub for a while. Because what else is she gonna do with a fucking meat dress? Making cliched and trite political statements at the MTV Video Music Awards and rolling around in your bathtub is really all a meat dress is good for. That’s why you’ll never see me in one after Labor Day.

Blah blah Lady Gaga blah blah ridiculous costume blah blah Barneys:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I know I don’t look at a picture of Lady Gaga without thinking, “Boy, I wish I could smell like that.” Looks like my dreams are about to come true! Pop Eater says:

According to Fashionista, the shocking superstar is developing her first fragrance, and Mother Monster has reportedly requested that the scent “smell of blood and semen.”

I’ll save you the $59.95 and give you a DIY version: have period sex, but halfway through, stop and put a condom on before you continue. Then when it’s all done, you just dump whatever’s inside the condom into one of those fancy glass atomizers and have at it. Voila! You smell just like Lady Gaga. For free. You’re welcome!

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