Lindsay Gets Insured

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Lindsay Lohan’s career managed to surface from the shitter and cling precariously to the rim of the bowl on Monday when producers of her new romantic comedy “Labor Pains” finally found someone stupid enough to insure her. According to Rush and Molloy

“Labor Pains” producer Rick Schwartz kept getting turned down by insurers. “[Schwartz] could only find one insurance company to cover her, and even then he really had to vouch for her.”

[A Plum Pictures spokesperson said] “Our insurance and bond reps have been impressed with her good behavior. Whatever personal issues she may have had in the past, it is clear to me that work is her total priority. She wants to make this role and this film a success, and I truly believe in her.”

Well, here’s one guy who has no problem attesting to her work ethic: Bobby Brown’s son Landon. Showbiz Spy reveals

Landon enjoyed a fling with Lindsay Lohan in a nightclub’s toilets [in 2006. Landon said,] “Lindsay followed me to the bathroom during a party and, well, we basically got together. We were just staring at each other and she walked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in. I think she knew who I was.”

So would that be considered “working hard,” or “hardly working?” Ha ha! We all know it doesn’t really matter as long as the word “hard” is involved. Or the word “penis.” She’s a real workhorse when it comes to hard penis.

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Whitney Houston’s Daughter Stabs Her, Attempts Suicide

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Whitney Houston’s teenage daughter with ex-husband Bobby Brown attempted suicide last week after stabbing her mother during an argument. The National Enquirer says

A family member [said] that a few days before Bobbi Kristina’s 15th birthday party, [Bobbi Kristina] “tried to stab Whitney” before [slashing her own wrists] with the razor. The shocking suicide attempt landed Bobbi Kristina in a psychiatric ward in Atlanta.

Thank God Bobbi Kristina didn’t actually succeed in killing herself. She still has so much to live for! Things like “Celebrity Rehab” and “felony check fraud.” There’s a whole world out there just waiting with open cell doors arms!

One more of Bobbi Kristina smoking pot with a friend after the jump

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