A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Unless that rose happened to be painted over Jersey Shore’s JWoww’s nipples. Then it would probably smell like Ron Ron Juice and regret.
Arriving at the Wendy Williams show last Thursday:
PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures
Silver is currently $23 an ounce, so by my calculations, that’s nearly $28,000 worth of silver on Kim Kardashian’s ass alone. Pretty pricey. W Magazine should have saved themselves some money and just hosed her down with pee instead. I’ve got a couple of mayonnaise jars full of the stuff that I’d be willing to part with for twenty bucks. Apparently there is no exchange-traded fund for urine. Never trust an investment broker who lives in a cardboard box and accepts payment in Boone’s Farm and Camel Lights.
Kourtney and Khloe Kardshian are supposedly naked under all that photoshop bodypaint in the latest ad for their revamped Dash clothing store in Miami. Us Magazine says
The E! reality stars — together with two of their “Dash Dolls” employees — are covered with airbrushed bodysuits that say “Dash Miami.”
“Kourt and I came to Miami to revamp Dash, and that’s exactly what we did!” blogged Khloe, 25. “It literally took ALL day to get airbrushed but it was so worth it. Dash has never looked so good! LOL”
Their photo shoot will be featured on an upcoming episode of Kourtney and Khloe take Miami.
The article said that Khloe was bodypainted, but I couldn’t find any shots that included her. All I found was this one with Kourtney and the Dash Dolls flanked by a hairless Sasquatch in drag makeup and a Cher wig. Still, it’s really noble of them to break boundaries like that. So many companies are too quick to dismiss the megafauna cryptid demographic these days.
The attractive Kardashian in New York last week:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Now that he’s through bumpin uglies with Kate Hudson, Yankees star Alex Rodriguez has set his sights on broader jawlines. According to the NY Daily News
The Yankees slugger is now reportedly hooking up with big screen star Cameron Diaz.
The twosome was spotted dancing the night away in Miami the day before the Super Bowl. Rodriguez, 34, and Diaz, 37, “were having a great time,” while the actress was “grinding on A-Rod.”
And from the sound of it – the duo aren’t just having a fleeting flirtation.
“A-Rod and Cameron have been totally hooking up,” a snitch told the mag.
Well, there’s a match made in lower mandible heaven. I bet their offspring would look like a cross between Bruce Campbell and a trapezoid. Rumer Willis and angler fish everywhere would be so jealous!
Maxillofacialogy isn’t all that sexy, so enjoy Abbey Clancey in body paint instead:
Ashley Greene is everywhere lately because ain’t no escaping any o’ them Twilight fools, but at least she’s better than Kristen Stewart. Ashley doesn’t incessantly bite her lip like she’s trying to eat her own face from the inside out, and she also generally looks like she washes her hair at least once a week. More importantly, Ashley has been slutting it up as hard as she can recently, which makes my job easier because you pervs are insatiable and it’s winter and the only other ladies flitting around half naked today are Victoria Silvstedt, who is an actual whore (as in literally a prostitute) and Rachel Zoe, who looks like she’s been dead since about 2006.
More photos from Ashley Greene’s “skinsuit” body paint shoot for SoBe Life Water, which will be featured in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (you can see a video of the shoot here):
This is Ashley Greene in a body paint “skinsuit” on the Turks and Caicos islands for a new SoBe commercial. Photos from the shoot will appear in the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
The 22-year-old actress modeled two of make-up artist Joanne Gair’s hand-painted SoBe skinsuits which were inspired by the new, exotic SoBe Lifewater 0 calorie flavors — Cherimoya Punch and Strawberry Dragonfruit. The skinsuits take their design cues from the SoBe bottles – from the painted scales right down to SoBe’s signature lizard.
Ashley shared, “Being a part of the SoBe skinsuit shoot in the Turks and Caicos was amazing. It took the artist 12 hours to paint the SoBe scales on each skinsuit, but it was totally worth it. It’s an experience I’ll never forget.”
Oh and hey, if you like half-naked ladies and gambling (and who doesn’t?) you can enter SoBe’s “Zero Calories, Zero Inhibitions Vegas Sweepstakes” which runs from now until Friday, January 29 on SoBe.com. One winner and three friends will receive tickets to the invite-only 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition launch in Las Vegas.
These pictures are supposed to be from the Playboy Mansion Stars and Stripes: An Evening of Sexy Patriotism gala, but it looks more like someone painted a bunch of truck stop hookers and day-shift strippers and turned them loose on somebody’s front lawn. Or as VH1 usually calls it, the casting call for the next season of Rock of Love Bus 2. Woooo! High five!
This time of year is so filled with the magic and wonder of romance. No, not the chocolate hearts and flowers Hallmark Valentine bullshit, you mincing nancy. I’m referring, of course, to that special time each year when Sports Illustrated stops talking about boring stuff like actual sports, and instead puts out their annual Swimsuit Issue. Love is in the air, dudes.
This year’s cover girl is Bar Refaeli, supermodel and Leonardo DiCaprio arm candy:
When I first saw the words “painted ladies California” in the tagline under the pictures, I got really excited. Finally, more photos of early Colorist Movement Edwardian homes to add to my Nob Hill Historic District collection! But when I opened them, it turned out to be just a couple of sluts in body paint at a Playboy Super Bowl party. I’m sure you’re just as disappointed as I am.
Hef’s new girlfriends Karissa (number 69) and Kristina Shannon (also number 69):
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