There’s something different about Cameron Diaz when comparing these photos of her in Hawaii two weeks ago (left) and photos of her last year (right), and it’s not just the hair. The Daily Mail says:

The Charlie’s Angels star, 39, was spotted on the beach in Hawaii over the holidays looking rather shapely, prompting rumors she’s gone under the knife.

The actress is said to have had implants to boost her chest by a cup size.

Cameron has previously said she’d prefer a more curvy figure, telling Marie Claire in 2009: ‘I’d love to be more voluptuous. It’s just not my body type.”

You know that expression “useless as tits on a boar?” Well, this is a close second.

Nothing ruins a good bikini picture like a stupid baby. It makes masturbating take twice as long, and as you well know, I don’t have that kind of time. Not while the ancient flowers in the Larunya Mines in Zelda Skyward Sword still beckon.

LeAnn Rimes in Hawaii over the weekend:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Victoria Silvstedt’s Wiki page says that she is a “Swedish celebrity model, actress, singer, and television personality,” which sounds a lot fancier than “bonafide whore,” which is what she actually she is. In fact, in some parts of the world, a “silvstedt” is just a polite euphemism for a genital wart.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

I didn’t realize that they made fully animatronic sex dolls these days. Ten bucks says Charlie Sheen is somehow responsible for this new masturbatory development.

“Holly’s World” stars Holly Madison and Laura Croft at the grand opening of “Night School 4 Girls” in Vegas:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

This before and after pic of Nicole Richie in a bikini seems to suggest that the former “Simple Life” star went and got her titties inflated by a professional recently. Us Magazine says:

An insider tells [says] that [Richie] got implants this summer.

“In the past, she said she wanted a lift, though we never thought she was serious,” another source says of Richie.

Still, “she’s been open about it to friends,” notes the first insider.

The second source adds that the designer wanted to improve her bustline for hubby Joel Madden, 32. “The pregnancies took a toll. She said breast-feeding killed what boobs she did have!”

Oh, I doubt she did it for Joel Madden. He’s way too concerned with mastering the perfect smoky eye to bother looking at anybody’s tits.

Nicole hosting Fashion’s Night Out earlier this month; celebrating her 30th birthday at Cecconi last week (bottom):

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

In Denise Richards’ new autobiography “The Real Girl Next Door” (on sale now!), she reveals that she underwent three breast augmentations in the last ten years in an attempt to recreate perfect nineteen-year-old breasts. It’s the most noble mission of all. The Daily Mail says:

She said: ‘[My first augmentation] when I was 19, a doctor put in bigger implants than what I’d asked for. I was in such a hurry to get them that I didn’t research my doctor.’

You’d have though the bad experience would have taught Richards a lesson, but she then went and got a second dose of surgery that she wasn’t happy with, increasing her bust to a size D, ahead of filming her 1998 movie Wild Things.

Denise says she is finally happy with her breasts, following a third stab at going under the knife.

‘This is the size I wanted them to look at 19. There is a long investment with breast implants.
They are not going to last a lifetime and things can go wrong. I’m happy with them now, but that could change.’

I uploaded some screen caps from “Wild Things” so we could do a side-by-side before and after comparison of her boobs. And frankly, there is no comparison. Her first doctor should’ve gotten a noble prize for medicine, because she was damn near perfect before.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

They say that everybody has a twin out there somewhere — mine is Angelina Jolie (obviously), and Heidi Montag’s is Courtney Stodden, the aspiring 16-year old “singer” pictured above with her 51-year-old Green Mile actor husband, Doug Hutchison. That’s nearly a three and a half decade difference, for those of you not so hot with math. The Daily Mail says:

While many parents may be horrified at the dramatic age gap, Courtney’s mother and father have actually given it all their backing. Courtney’s father, Alex Stodden, who at 47 is four years younger that his son-in-law, gushed about the new addition to the family.

Mrs Stodden said: ‘They are very much in love and we are so supportive of this. Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl.’

Looking well beyond 16, it appears that Courtney has possibly gone under the knife to obtain her more ‘mature’ looks, but her mother denies this.

She said: ‘She is a beautiful girl. She has real breasts, real lips, she’s not plastic.’

If that girl is actually 16 years old and those DD’s turn out to be real, I will eat my fucking hat. But first I’d have to go buy a hat, because really, who the fuck wears a hat? Black women on their way to church and Sigma Chi pledges? Korean rice farmers? Lazy Mexican mice? Buying a hat is really more of a question of socio-political allegiance than it is fashion statement. It’s probably best that those tits are totally fake, then.

Her most recent single “Don’t Put it on Me” below; another Stodden masterpiece after the jump:

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Everyone has seen someone with a lazy eye before, but what about someone with a lazy tit? If you took Cookie Monster, shaved him, starved him and then froze him in flesh-colored carbonite, he’d look exactly like Janice Dickinson’s wonk-eyed rack up there. Welcome to Nightmare on Sesame Street, bitches.

Older pics of her nude (also NSFW):

Are you sitting down? Because you might want to be sitting down for this. It’s a real doozy. Ready? Okay, here goes: Christina Aguilera might have breast implants. Dun dun dun! Shocking, I know! Whoever would have guessed? The Daily Mail says:

As the star waved to fans at the Tokyo press conference for her new film Burlesque, an apparent scar under her arm may have given her secret away.

The small line could be the result of a transaxillary endoscopic breast augmentation — a breast enlargement technique where implants are placed through an armpit incision.

Experts say the popular method usually leaves an inch-long scar and is the preferred option for patients who want to avoids scars on the breast.

You might have figured out she got breast implants from the armpit scar if the capsular contracture-riddled bolt-on bags on her chest hadn’t already given it away years ago. Square isn’t a mammary shape you generally find in nature. It’s like her surgeon ran out of saline and just decided to stuff a humidor in there instead.

Promoting Burlesque in Hollywood:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Tara Reid celebrated her 45th 35th birthday at the VIP Room in St. Barths yesterday, and of course her botched tit fell out of her Forever 21 acetate-polyester blend dress while she was there. It was the only way I knew for sure it was Tara and not actually Gunnar Nelson in drag.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

So I guess since I don’t feel sorry for Jenny McCarthy because she’s a vapid bimbo, I’m supposed to feel sorry for her because she had a boob job without painkillers. I’m not even convinced that her brain is developed enough to process pain. Digital Spy says,

Jenny McCarthy has recalled waking up during her first breast augmentation after the surgeon did not administer anaesthetic.

According to WENN, the actress said that she went to a cut-price doctor for the procedure and subsequently had to have the work redone after the horror of waking up while being operated on.

McCarthy explained: “Me and my friends found a doctor in Arizona that cost about $1,500 (£943) to get our boobs done – because they didn’t use anaesthesia and I didn’t know it!

“I’m laying there during surgery and I’m going, ‘Wow, I’m having a remarkable dream about getting a boob job while I’m getting a boob job!’ And I’m thinking, ‘I can think of the names of the tools that they’re passing back and forth’, and, ‘Oh my God, this is a remarkable lucid dream!’

“And then I open my eyes and oh my God – this is real! I look down and there was one boob done.

“I said, ‘What is going on? Oh my God, I’m awake!’ And [the doctor] said, ‘I know, we only have one boob left, just hang in there’. I had to get them redone.”

Saving money by buying a jug of the store brand of milk=smart. Saving money by getting your jugs done by some med school dropout=not so smart. Just ask Tara Reid.

At a small book signing, because she doesn’t have enough fans for a large one:

Picture source: Fame Pictures

Lady Gaga is all ready to put the cherry on her plastic parfait. That sounds a whole lot more disgusting than it needed to. Nine MSN says:

The kooky popster reportedly got envious of a waitresses’ fake boobs and wanted to a buy a pair of her own.

“I love your boobs! Are they real?” Gaga asked the waitress. “I really want to get implants too, I love false boobs.”

Gaga was apparently out to lunch with her lover Luc Carl.

“I’m not sure how Luc would feel about me getting my boobs made bigger,” she reportedly told the waitress. “He’s into real boobs, so that’s why he adores me so much.”

Yes, if there’s one reason to love Lady Gaga, it’s those spectacular real boobs up there. It’s not everyday God sculpts a flat tire filled with pudding and tries to pass it off as a breast. Better luck next time, Jesus!