Coco has since removed this photo of her lying naked next to her baby nephew from her Twitter page, because for some reason, people found it “objectionable.” And I bet the social worker that’s coming to visit will be even more uncool about it. You know how those guys freak out every time they see visible genitalia.
Let’s be honest — there’s really no point in me even typing words here. It’s not like you’re gonna be looking at anything other than Kelly Brook’s rack for the next fifteen minutes.
Victoria’s Secret model and “Transformers 3″ star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley graces one of three covers of next month’s issue of Vs magazine — the other two covers belong to actress Julianne Moore and supermodel Helena Christensen. I suppose the choice of three different women on the covers is their way of putting in a real-life versus in the magazine Vs. So, anyway, which did I choose? Well, after dialoguing with my co-workers and much consideration and deliberation, I ultimately went with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She was showing her nipple, and the other ladies weren’t. If you aren’t going to bring your A-game, you might as well not even step up to the plate.
I don’t like Kelly Brook’s new blonde hair or her huge Linda Richman glasses or her ugly crochet swimsuit, but she’s still in a bikini. It’s really the best thing that’s happened all damn day.
In Rio last week:
Eva Mendes looks just like legendary screen siren Sophia Loren in the March issue of Marie Claire. They’re both just so unattainably beautiful. The only thing I have in common with either one of those women is the facial mole, but mine’s about the size of a saucer, so it has a different overall effect.
If I’d known we were playing croquet with UFC Octogon girl Arianny Celeste as a human wicket, I would have totally played a round instead of just using the mallet to smash out the tail lights on my ex’s Chevy Caprice. Next time try to keep me a little better informed. Honestly.
The only person who takes more pictures of Lindsay Lohan than the L.A. central booking is Terry Richardson (here, here and leering behind her like a child molester on a bender here), and that’s only because he’s a notorious pervert who gets off on taking pictures of girls’ tits, and showing her tits is the only thing Lindsay’s good for these days. It’s a match made in crippling daddy issues/sexual predator heaven.
Christina Hendrick’s massive rack takes up the cover of next month’s Cosmopolitan UK cover. In it she talks about how she never thought people would find her sexy. I supposed I’m supposed to find self-deprecation charming. Snore. The Daily Mail says,
Hendricks admits her husband finds her whole pin-up image incredibly funny.
She explains: ‘It’s incredibly flattering and surprising, and I didn’t think for a second when I started Mad Men that people would talk about me as being sexy or a pin up.
‘My husband has a good laugh about it, of course.’
And when asked to define sexy, she adds: ‘Sexiness is about confidence and individuality. I can’t keep my eyes off the women you see in cities like London, New York and Paris – the way they carry themselves and put themselves together are always so unique.
‘Sexiness is about being an individual and having conviction about what that is.’
Which, of course, is why she didn’t think it was necessary to get implants after she gained a bunch of weight to even out her bottom and achieve an “hourglass” figure. Yup.
Former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter’s 25-year-old sister Leslie died last night in what is believed to have been an accidental overdose of prescription medication. TMZ says:
The 25-year-old sister of Nick Carter had recently moved from Canada to Upstate New York to live with family members while she attempted to kick her addiction.
Family members had attempted to rid the home of any prescription medication — including Xanax — and were hopeful Leslie was on the road to recovery.
Sources say family members believed Leslie would be OK to stay alone in the home for roughly an hour yesterday while they ran errands … but when they returned, Leslie was unconscious.
Officials were called to the scene … but Leslie could not be saved.
We’re told Leslie’s 1-year-old daughter was not at home with Carter at the time of her death.
The cracked-out apple sure doesn’t fall far from the fucked-up tree, does it? This is why alcoholic stage mothers should just be spayed. Otherwise you wind up with kids that are more like feral cats than people.
Guess/Victoria’s Secret model Kate Upton for Deep Blue swimwear, because she doesn’t haven a meth-carved exoskeleton:
Welcome to Victoria’s Secret model Candice Swanepoel’s office, or “St. Barth’s” as it’s known to the rest of us. Saying her life is better than yours is like saying Rosie O’Donnell looks a little like a female Nacho Libre. An understatement to say the least.
Sophie Monk is barely D-list, but she looks fantastic in a bikini, so here you go. Pandering to the lowest common denominator is practically an art for me now.
In the February issue of Maxim Australia:
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