Hoping to clear up her image of being a self-important, uptight bitch, Gwyneth Paltrow reveals that people misunderstand and hate her because she’s a hard worker and you’re a fat, lazy pig, and you’re just jealous. Digital Spy says,

In an interview with PopEater, the County Strong actress claimed that many people are annoyed by her because she is driven and always strives for perfection in her daily life, characteristics which are easy to internalise as a criticism on their own lives.

“I think there’s a part of me that because I think I do a lot, I think my work ethic is the reason why I’m successful. I think that a lot of people don’t want to put in effort and it’s easier to not change, not do something good for you, not work on your relationship, not make yourself a meal, not work out,” she explained.

“[They're just] pissed off at someone else doing that. Everything in my life that’s good is because I worked my ass off to get it and to maintain it. I also think, for example, like, Mario Batali used to make fun of me all the time if I had soy milk in my coffee or if I was doing a cleanse or something. He used to grill me like, ‘Oh what are we eating? Squeezed out asparagus and seaweed?’ And now he’s the one doing a cleanse and having almond milk.”

However, she insisted that she does not hold others to the same rigid standards by which she lives, adding: “I think people mistake me trying to be the best version of myself for me telling them you’re not, or they just think, ‘Well, what does that make me then, you annoying f**king person on the soapbox?’

“But I can’t please everybody. All I can do is focus on the people who seem to appreciate what I do and put into the world. I’ll just do what I’m doing because we live in a world now where everybody is able to express their opinion.”

Oh yeah. She beat the overwhelming odds of making it as a A-lister by sheer talent and unrelenting hard work. Not because her mom’s a well-known actress and her dad’s a movie and TV director and producer. I’m glad we cleared that up.

At her Williams-Sonoma books signing:

Alicia Silverstone wrote a book called “The Kind Diet: A Simple Guide to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Saving the Planet”. It’s called “kind” because you don’t eat anything animal-based, and you rely on plants for all your nutrition. Yeah, but what about all those innocent plants you’re killing instead? They’re alive too, you know. I think it’s just as wrong to declare a feeding frenzy on plants just because they don’t have legs to run away, or vocal chords to cry out their anguish at being cruelly uprooted, or put through a threshing machine, or gobbled up by a combine. All you vegans have the chlorophyll of millions of plants on your hands! Shame on you! Now I’m going to go eat a delicious In-N-Out burger while I shake my fist of fury at you.

At a Barnes and Noble in LA:

Jennifer Love Hewitt wrote a self-help book about love, entitled, The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m a Love-aholic . Awwww.  Isn’t that cute? ‘Cuz her name has the word Love in it and so that means she must have, you know, written the book on love! Ha ha! The chapter titles are little gems like: “Balls, A Dress, or a Dress That Hides Our Balls”, “IM in, IM out. I’m Still on His IM”, “When Your Relationship Comes to a Skid…Mark”, and (I shit you not) ”You’re So Vain…You Probably Think This Varicose is About You”. Yeah, I’ll be buying this book right after I buy Lindsay Lohan’s Guide to Living Sober.

Signing her book Doing “sexy” poses:

It’s not all sugar cubes and brush-downs in the Tori Spelling stables. This little filly has a jealous streak! Says Digital Spy,

Tori Spelling has admitted that she worries that her husband Dean McDermott may cheat on her.

In an interview on KIIS-FM’s Ryan Seacrest Show, the 37-year-old said that she struggles with insecurities which make her feel naturally suspicious of McDermott’s loyalty.

“I’m a normal girl, and I worry about that stuff,” she explained.

“You know how girls are! Girls get jealous. You have to deal with that living all the time. It happens. We are who we are.”

She added that her husband doesn’t share her fears for their relationship.

“He doesn’t really get jealous. I feel like an oddball being jealous all the time.”

Constantly asking your spouse, “Do you love me?” and demanding to be told how beautiful you are and following around them around in a floppy hat and sunglasses and peering through binoculars and leaving little notes for them outside the door of their work that say, “If you ever leave me, I would kill myself, and maybe you” and painting pictures of them and leaving them so they can see them when they wake up in the morning, is probably the very best thing you can do to win their affection. I did that with my ex and I got a stupid restraining order, but it’s just his stupid interfering parents that made him do it, so I know he REALLY WANTS TO BE WITH ME. Sweetie….call me.

Signing her new book “uncharted terriTORI” with husband Dean McDermott and son Liam. I wish she would stop doing a play on words with her name. Get over it, already.

Today is super duper boring, so here are some random pictures of Alyssa Milano (who apparently wrote some sort of book called Safe at Home) doing a book signing at some Borders store someplace.  I have no idea what the book is about.  I could look it up, but I don’t care.

Remember when she was on “Who’s the Boss?” and she had to get a training bra and Tony flipped out like a total spaz?  Or that other time years later when she wanted to go on the skiing trip with Marci but Tony said no so she lied to him and went anyway and he flipped out like a total spaz?  Or the time she wanted to get married and Tony flipped out like a total spaz?  Sweet Jesus that show was dumb as hell.

Samantha Micelli: