Tom Cruise is denying claims that he strong-armed Amazon into pulling an anti-Scientology book from its virtual store shelves last month. The book in question is John Duignan’s “The Complex,” in which the former high-ranking member details his escape from Scientology’s elite “Sea Organization” (sounds gay). According to the NY Daily News

On Oct. 31, Irish publisher Merlin released “The Complex.” Five days later, Cruise dropped by Amazon’s headquarters to glad-hand staffers and host a sneak peek at his new movie, “Valkyrie.”

A few days later, Amazon’s British Web site stopped selling “The Complex.”

“I believe Tom Cruise influenced them,” Duignan [says]. Cruise’s rep denies that charge.

Awfully big coincidence, don’t you think? He just “shows up” at headquarters and the book mysteriously disappears from inventory? It’s a lot like that whole sex scene gone missing from Katie Holmes’ “Thank You for Smoking.” You can’t just go throwing your Hollywood weight around every time a person threatens to expose you as a lunatic fraud or your spouse as a cock-hungry tit-flasher. If you really want your “problem” to go away, you bury it in lime and break out all the teeth so the cops can’t use dental records to ID it. Duh!

Celebrating Thanksgiving in central park with the Beckhams:

Britney Spears’ mother’s new book is about to hit the shelves, so all you considering children ought to head down to the Barnes and Noble and stock up while you still can. Advice this good isn’t going to be around for long. You can’t afford to miss some of the more important topics broached in Lynne’s biography — things like when and how to introduce sex and drugs into your child’s daily routine. “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” never even touches on that stuff! According to Female First

Lynne Spears’ shocking revelations claim Britney began drinking at 13 and was allegedly caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet when she was just 16.

Dispelling claims Britney lost her virginity to her former boyfriend Justin Timberlake, Lynne says her daughter first had sex with an 18-year-old football player while she attended her local high school in Kentwood.

Lynne admits she allowed [16-year old] Britney to sleep with Justin [and says she] regrets handing control of Britney’s career over to her managers and allowing her to be promoted as a sex object.

I guess once you find out that there’s an age minimum on internet porn and child labor is frowned upon in the States, the only logical thing to do is feed your child to the Hollywood Industry Machine for a quick buck and hope she doesn’t kill herself in the end. Provided there wasn’t a Sarlaac wielding a paycheck or a virgin-hungry volcano spraying stock options anywhere around, of course. A mom can dream, can’t she?

Britney poolside in Vegas: