Lisa Rinna is going to let you in on a little secret — those aren’t her real lips! Who know? Her secret: injectable Juvéderm. Gallons of it. She tells In Touch Weekly

“We all know everyone does it! We go on Jenny Craig and do all these things to change ourselves, so why can’t we get a little filler?”

But while a little is one thing, Lisa admits she recently overdid it. “I saw a picture of myself and thought, ‘Uh-oh,’” admits Lisa. “You have to be careful. I’m a perfect example of that!”

She thought, “uh-oh?” What the hell is that? “Uh-oh” is what you say when a four year-old spills his milk in the floor. “Uh-oh” is what you say when your shoe comes untied. “Uh-oh” is NOT what you say when you realize you’ve mangled your once-beautiful face and turned your mouth into a greasy pulsating hemorrhoid that talks. What she should have said is “Oh, God, NOOOOOOOO!” before smashing every mirror in the house and using the broken pieces to hack away at her sausage lips in front of her terrified children and housekeeper. You gotta make it mean something, Lisa. Otherwise, people will never understand the dangers of Juvederm addiction.

In a bikini, because it helps distract from her lips:

Mother of the Year Sharon Stone is denying claims that she wanted her 8-year-old son Roan to receive Botox treatments for his stinky feet. According to Us Weekly

“Sharon Stone never made this statement. It is a complete fabrication,” her attorney Martin Singer tells Entertainment Tonight. “Sharon loves her son Roan and only wants the best for him.”

Of course she wouldn’t make a statement like that. Please. She very clearly said she wanted botox injections for his anus. Because pooing is so smelly and unbecoming! With her steady diet of cocaine and martinis, she probably hasn’t taken a real dump in years. Unless you count “Basic Instict 2″ or “Catwoman.” I’m pretty sure you’d have to wipe after making those pieces of shit.