If you’re thinking to yourself, “Boy, Paris Hilton never looked so believably feminine,” you should know that the Paris on the left is actually her boyfriend Doug Reinfarthardt dressed as Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz.” The one on the right is the real Paris. I was stunned, too! The Daily Mail says
What could be more frightening than the thought of Paris Hilton dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz? Easy. Her AND her boyfriend dressing as Dorothy.
The heiress, and her man Doug Reinhardt, both wore blond pigtails, dresses and red high heels for Hilton’s Halloween house party in LA last night.
The best part is, the both share the same shoe size. And bra size. And Zovirax prescription. I bet that made shopping for costumes a breeze!
There’s “gay,” and then there’s “glitter oozing from the rhinestone-studded no-no hole of Liberace as he crawls around on all fours on a bearskin rug surround by men in mesh halter tops and iridescent feather boas.” See if you can guess which one this album cover is.
Adam Lambert sucking face with boyfriend Drake LaBry:
51-year old Madonna paws at her crotch and thrusts her way through her new video “Celebration,” which also boasts the “talents” of boyfriend Jesus Luz and her preteen daughter Lourdes. The Daily Mail says
Luz, posing as a topless DJ, ends up kissing the mother-of-four before the scene cuts to a troupe of breakdancers - including Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter Lourdes.
If you can’t bear watching the video (I only could because somebody’s paying me to), there’s a “spoken word portion” in which Madge whispers to Luz
Haven’t I seen you somewhere before? You look familiar… You wanna dance? Yeah?
I guess I just don’t recognize you with your clothes on. What are you waiting for?
Yeah, what are you waiting for, Jesus? Her Geritol to kick in? High five!
Anne Hathaway seems to finally be over her dirtbag ex-boyfriend Rafaello Folliieri — she was photographed sucking face with actor Adam Shulman last week. The Daily Mail says
Anne was spotted kissing her new man on the way to a photoshoot the day before the Golden Globes - leaving little doubt that the pair are lovers. The stylish brunette appeared happy and relaxed as she passionately embraced Adam before heading off.They clearly couldn’t keep their hands off each other as Anne, 26, cuddled up to Adam on her driveway.
You’d have to feel pretty good about your chances of scoring with Anne Hathway after somebody like Rafaello Follieri. As long as you’re not a kiddie-molestor or a nursing home rapist, you’re already a thousand times better than that guy. Even Somalian pirates and that Marine who kicked a puppy off a cliff never swindled old people while masquerading as an agent of the church. Like my dad always said, dignity is a real pussy magnet.
15-year-old Disney slutbag Miley Cyrus and her 800 bodyguards disrupted the Christian Audigier fashion show on Wednesday so that she could mime licking 20-year-old boyfriend Justin Gaston’s ballsack as he walked down the runway. Suck on that, Mickey! Page Six says
Gaston and Cyrus… “were all over each other backstage.” Every time Gaston walked, he would blow a kiss and wink at his teenage girlfriend, who in turn, “licked her lips seductively as he passed her.”
Cyrus was surrounded at all times by five bodyguards who “banned anyone from getting near her and formed a barrier so she wouldn’t be touched or bothered by anyone.”
It might seem a little excessive, but I understand Miley’s need for the five-man-deep bodyguard blockade. I really do. Because I imagine anyone who gets within ten feet of this stupid bitch has to muster every last bit of self-control not to punch her big ugly teeth right down her big stupid gullet. My ass-kickin’ foot involuntarily starts twitching the moment I even start writing about her. Fortunately, I’ve only ever had to use it once, when that old lady cut in front of me at the buffet line at Shoney’s, but you can rest assured it’s definitely primed for a chance meeting with our little Hannah Montana.
