Bonus video: It’s Toonces the Driving Cat meets sweat and hair grease: Brandon Davis plows into Pink’s car!

Meet the smartest man in the world, nine year-old Alec Greven. (MollyGood)

If you ever wanted to fuck a porn star, Lela Starr is selling herself on Eros. There’s a present you can’t re-gift! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Camilla Belle caught canoodling with Twilight douchevamp Robert Pattinson! I guess “canoodling” means “sharing volumizer over chai tea.” Makes sense. (Websters)

Meet the naked Coven of Crapness: Kimberly Stewart, Leah Wood, and Peaches Geldof. (Holy Moly)

Tina Turner appears to have gained twenty pounds in her face and neck, but she’s still got some kick-ass legs. (Hollywood Rag)

Scarlett Johansson dyes the drapes red! Now, about the carpet… (Lainey Gossip)

It should be illegal for Melinda Messenger to have that much tittay. (Hollywood Tuna)

It looks like alter ego Sasha Fierce doesn’t believe in shaving Beyonce’s armpits. (CelebNewsWire)

Never before has a woman coming at you with a giant pair of scissors been so sexy, thanks to Heidi Klum. (Bastardly)

Four words: Jessica Alba swimsuit calendar! (The Rad Report)

Now that Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr’s fling with Orlando Bloom is over, she’s sought refuge in the oily arms of douchebag Brandon Davis. According to In Touch Weekly

On July 12, Brandon and Miranda were spotted “full on making out” at 1Oak [and] kissing at Beatrice Inn. While a rep for Miranda denies she has split with Orlando, she was overheard telling Brandon about the breakup. “Miranda always seems to go to Brandon when she has a fight with Orlando,” the insider says. “He’s her rebound guy.”

“Rebound?” That’s gotta be a misquote. The source probably meant grease hound. You know, for those times when a plate full of bacon drippings and vaseline just don’t fill the void.