Amy Winehouse had her new tits on full display as she left the Hawley Arms in Camden last night — but there’s gonna be more where that came from. The Daily Mail says

Amy Winehouse spent £35,000 on a breast enlargement [and] boosted her bust from a 32B to a 32D, but she’s is now said to be hooked on surgery and planning another breast enlargement and even bum implants.

‘Amy loves her boobs,’ a source [said]. ‘She thinks by having another operation and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look.’

You’ve heard that expression “useless as tits on a boar?” What about “polishing a turd” or “lipstick on a pig?” I’d say all three apply here. Double for that turd one.

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Notice anything different about the Jennifer Aniston on the right (taken just last week)? How about that cup and a half extra titty spilling out of the top of her dress? That’s not a fancy push-up bra — that’s the miracle of science. The injectable kind, to be exact. The Daily Mail says

Jennifer Aniston is sporting a curvier figure thanks to the new lunchtime boob jab.

The actress is rumoured to have had Macrolane injections and boosted her bra measurements by a whole cup size.

The procedure involves filler being injected into each breast and takes just half an hour. It is aimed at women who are a B or C cup and want fuller breasts.

“Lunchtime boob jab?” Hell, I get those anytime my husband gets off work before noon. It’s usually followed by a “lunchtime penis poke” and a “lunchtime ass smack” Somehow my results aren’t nearly as impressive as Jennifer Aniston’s. Maybe we’re just doing it wrong.

Various pics of her from 1999-2004 with decidedly smaller tits (and lips):

You’ve already seen her completely naked in Playboy, but here’s some pictures of Lisa Rinna in a bikini in Malibu yesterday anyway. It’s kinda like opening up the present “Santa Claus” left and discovering that it’s actually the BMX bike your parents gave you for your birthday before dad lost his job, only repainted with primer and one of the pedals replaced with a ping pong paddle and a wad of old newspaper where the seat’s supposed to be. Merry fucking Christmas, ingrates.

You might have noticed that there was something different about Victoria Beckham lately if you actually gave a shit about Victoria Beckham. Fortunately, British tabloids are here to illuminate those of us who don’t care. The Sun says

Posh, 35, saw a Los Angeles surgeon for her third boob job last month and had a set of implants removed to make her a smaller 34B… because she was sick of her busty WAG look.

Ex-Spice Girl Victoria had her first boob job in 1999, when a London clinic increased her bust from its natural size of 34A to 34D. Further surgery two years later took her to a 34DD.

A, D, double D, B… crooked letter crooked letter I, humpback humpback I. Yep, I’m pretty sure you just spelled Mississippi.

You can click the header image to find out whose celebrity ass that is, but first let me warn you: not since that time I clicked on the link for “100% Original Mega Puss” have I been so sorely disappointed by the picture that comes up.

Told you:

PHOTO CREDIT: Mavrix Online

If you had any doubts that Blake Lively got breast implants, you can put them to rest now. If her tits were any further apart they’d need separate zip codes.

CW11 Upfronts at Madison Square Garden:

A Texas homemaker named Sheyla Hershey underwent her ninth breast enlargement surgery last month in order to break the world record for biggest fake tits — a comically disgusting 38KKK. Her mom and dad must be so proud! According to The Sun

Medics warned 28-year-old her that her breasts are in danger of exploding but that did not stop Sheyla going under the knife. US doctors had refused to carry out any more ops on Sheyla when her breasts were already a staggering 34FFF… but Sheyla was determined to get in the record books and jetted off to Brazil where there are no limits on implant sizes.

Sheyla said: “To me, big is beautiful. I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

You know, there are other, more refined ways to get men to notice you. Tattooing “I’m desperately insecure and willing to do anal” on your forehead or setting yourself on fire while juggling kittens, for example. I guess the fine art of subtlety is just lost on some people.

NSFW pictures of her topless after the jump:

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Ali Lohan raised some eyebrows Sunday night when she showed up to a Jonas Brothers concert with a brand new rack, a blossoming strangely reminiscent of the same miraculous three-cup-sizes-overnight big sis Lindsay had at the ripe old age of 17. Us Weekly says

The young star of Living Lohan flaunted what looked like overnight curves at a Jonas Brothers concert in East Hampton, NY on August 9. Just three months earlier, a flatter Lohan hit Fuse for a taping of The Sauce in NYC.

Lindsay is, of course, shocked and outraged by the plastic surgery accusations, writing on her MySpace

“WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…. Did you really just ask me about my [sister's implants]? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile! My mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.”

The pedophile accusation brings up an interesting point of debate: are we, the internet masses, at fault for the hyper-sexualization of teenage celebrities, or are the ‘tween queens facilitating their own objectification? And — more importantly — should Dina Lohan be referred to as “pimp,” or “devil’s dark minion?” I’m only asking because I need to know how to address the Christmas card this year. For some reason, this month’s issue of “Barely Legal” doesn’t specify.