Leann Rimes looks like she’s flaring her nostrils in every last one of these pictures, which means she’s either permanently in a huff (entirely plausible) or she’s lost so much weight that her nostrils are too big for her face (also entirely plausible). Thank God the breast implants are there to distract from it.

With husband Eddie Cibrian in Hawaii:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

If my Christmas wish were that Courtney Stodden get uterine cancer, would karma dictate that I also get uterine cancer, or would I secretly get a high five from Jesus?

I didn’t realize that they made fully animatronic sex dolls these days. Ten bucks says Charlie Sheen is somehow responsible for this new masturbatory development.

“Holly’s World” stars Holly Madison and Laura Croft at the grand opening of “Night School 4 Girls” in Vegas:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

This before and after pic of Nicole Richie in a bikini seems to suggest that the former “Simple Life” star went and got her titties inflated by a professional recently. Us Magazine says:

An insider tells [says] that [Richie] got implants this summer.

“In the past, she said she wanted a lift, though we never thought she was serious,” another source says of Richie.

Still, “she’s been open about it to friends,” notes the first insider.

The second source adds that the designer wanted to improve her bustline for hubby Joel Madden, 32. “The pregnancies took a toll. She said breast-feeding killed what boobs she did have!”

Oh, I doubt she did it for Joel Madden. He’s way too concerned with mastering the perfect smoky eye to bother looking at anybody’s tits.

Nicole hosting Fashion’s Night Out earlier this month; celebrating her 30th birthday at Cecconi last week (bottom):

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

She’s been name-dropping Mikoh Swimwear on her Twitter all summer, but now Leann Rimes is officially posing for the company. I don’t know that Mikoh Swimwear really thought this thing through, though. They’re gonna have to do a whole lot of photoshopping to get both of her tits to point the same direction in any of the photos.

In Denise Richards’ new autobiography “The Real Girl Next Door” (on sale now!), she reveals that she underwent three breast augmentations in the last ten years in an attempt to recreate perfect nineteen-year-old breasts. It’s the most noble mission of all. The Daily Mail says:

She said: ‘[My first augmentation] when I was 19, a doctor put in bigger implants than what I’d asked for. I was in such a hurry to get them that I didn’t research my doctor.’

You’d have though the bad experience would have taught Richards a lesson, but she then went and got a second dose of surgery that she wasn’t happy with, increasing her bust to a size D, ahead of filming her 1998 movie Wild Things.

Denise says she is finally happy with her breasts, following a third stab at going under the knife.

‘This is the size I wanted them to look at 19. There is a long investment with breast implants.
They are not going to last a lifetime and things can go wrong. I’m happy with them now, but that could change.’

I uploaded some screen caps from “Wild Things” so we could do a side-by-side before and after comparison of her boobs. And frankly, there is no comparison. Her first doctor should’ve gotten a noble prize for medicine, because she was damn near perfect before.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

It’s being suggested in several UK papers today that Amy Winehouse’s untimely death this weekend was not due to overdose or alcohol poisoning, but because she stopped drinking. No, really. The Daily Mail says:

It is thought that Amy had been told to cut down on her drinking gradually, but her cold turkey approach to quitting the booze gave her frail body a shock it couldn’t handle.

A source close to the family told the paper: ‘Abstinence gave her body such a fright they thought it was eventually the cause of her death.’

Amy’s father Mitch said that Amy had beaten her battle with drink and drugs and she hadn’t drunk for three weeks and hadn’t touched drugs for years.

Mitch told mourners: ‘Three years ago, Amy conquered her drug dependency, the doctors said it was impossible but she really did it. She was trying hard to deal with her drinking and had just completed three weeks of abstinence.’

However it has been claimed that the singer was drinking gin and red bull drinks at the Roundhouse in Camden three days before her death.

The only way her death would be a tragedy instead of a stupid accident is if she actually died from not drinking. That’s the absolute LAST thing anybody would suspect. Look, I appreciate irony as much as the next girl, but I don’t think God has that sick a sense of humor.

Some celebrities who have died from excessive drug and alcohol abuse could have been saved if only they took drug and alcohol addiction counseling seriously.

Amy and her breast implants on vacation earlier this year:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

Everyone has seen someone with a lazy eye before, but what about someone with a lazy tit? If you took Cookie Monster, shaved him, starved him and then froze him in flesh-colored carbonite, he’d look exactly like Janice Dickinson’s wonk-eyed rack up there. Welcome to Nightmare on Sesame Street, bitches.

Older pics of her nude (also NSFW):

I can’t imagine why JWoww is smiling at her vagina like that. I dunno… maybe it told a funny joke. One like, “Why do Italian men have mustaches? So they can look like their mothers!” or “Why do Italian men cry during sex? Mace will do that to you.” Or maybe she’s just smiling at it because she just finished picking all the nits out of her bush and her cooter finally doesn’t itch anymore. Crabs can really salt a girl’s game.

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

Are you sitting down? Because you might want to be sitting down for this. It’s a real doozy. Ready? Okay, here goes: Christina Aguilera might have breast implants. Dun dun dun! Shocking, I know! Whoever would have guessed? The Daily Mail says:

As the star waved to fans at the Tokyo press conference for her new film Burlesque, an apparent scar under her arm may have given her secret away.

The small line could be the result of a transaxillary endoscopic breast augmentation — a breast enlargement technique where implants are placed through an armpit incision.

Experts say the popular method usually leaves an inch-long scar and is the preferred option for patients who want to avoids scars on the breast.

You might have figured out she got breast implants from the armpit scar if the capsular contracture-riddled bolt-on bags on her chest hadn’t already given it away years ago. Square isn’t a mammary shape you generally find in nature. It’s like her surgeon ran out of saline and just decided to stuff a humidor in there instead.

Promoting Burlesque in Hollywood:

PHOTO CREDIT: Fame Pictures

PHOTO CREDIT: Star Magazine

I know there’s been one question that’s been eating at you for weeks now — did Julia Roberts get breast implants? Let’s ask someone who’s never treated her for their expert medical opinion! Star Magazine says:

“It does look like she had a breast augmentation; they look significantly larger now,” observes Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Stuart A. Linder, who does not treat the actress.

“She was probably a 34A or small B, and now she looks more like a nice, full C cup,” Dr.Linder tells Star. “Her breasts have more projection, and she certainly fills in her bathing suit much, much better.”

Aw, he can’t tell shit from that picture. She might have just gained some weight is all. Her suit might be padded. She might have stayed underground for the last six months, hidden from the sun’s evil rays, and her skin is just reflecting more light back to your eye in some kind of ultra-pale person trompe l’oeil. We’ll have to ask her fellow mole-people next time one of them surfaces. Rumor has it they already made her their queen.

At the “Eat, Pray, Love” premiere:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

You were probably too busy looking at her cooter in her sex tape to notice, but Kendra Wilkinson didn’t just get a boob job before she joined the Girls Next Door — she also had her nose tweaked, too. Radar Online says:

[In these] first post-op photos of the reality star, [she's] showing off her brand new breasts to a willing photographer.

The photos also reveal Kendra with a nose that looks very different from the way it appears now.

She had these photos taken to document her [breasts'] transformation but didn’t realize that they would also serve as the “before” shots for her nose!

So what about her nose? There seems no doubt that she had something done to change its appearance.

“It’s pretty obvious,” said our source.

Boy, “natural beauty” Kendra ain’t. She’s a Starter jacket and a spiral perm away from being one of those chola-wigger hybrids from high school that would cut you for making eye contact for more than 3 consecutive seconds. I can practically smell the Issey Miyake and Dep hair gel from here.

NSFW: