Mar 5, 2009
Megan Fox might have called off her engagement, but it seems she just can’t quit the Green Peen. According to Star Magazine
It appeared Megan had relocated to a nearby hotel, but [according to a source], “she returned both nights to stay over with Brian.”
So why can’t they stay away?
Despite their problems, they have a superhot sex life. “They’ve had problems with every facet with their relationship — except in bed,” says a friend… “she’s ‘addicted’ to sex with Brian.”
There are worse vices to have, I suppose. You could compulsively eat the stuff you scrape out of your bellybutton. All I know is Brian Austin Green’s wiener better be ten inches long and open a portal into another dimension. It’s the only way this makes any goddamn sense.
Shopping for furniture together yesterday:
Feb 25, 2009
Here’s one you didn’t see coming: Megan Fox has called off her engagement to 90210 actor Brian Austin Green. Us Weekly says
Megan Fox and fiance Brian Austin Green have split. “The relationship had run its course,” [says] an insider. “It’s completely amicable, and they are remaining friends.”
Fox, 22, and Green, 35, now “are both focusing on their careers.”
Which means Megan will be concentrating all her efforts into the sequel to last year’s blockbuster “Transformers,” while Brian Austin Green will be firmly setting his sights on the year 1992. I give him six months before he tries to kill himself.
Out and about in Beverly Hills:
Ridiculously hot at this year’s Golden Globes:
Jul 11, 2008
Despite rumors that their engagement is off, Brian Austin Green insists that he and Megan Fox are as happy as ever. He told Us Weekly
“We’re solid. We’ve lived together for three years. We have tattoos of each other’s names. We have more time away from each other right now than we’d like. [We're] rescuing pets from pet stores. We have a potbellied pig, we have dogs, two cats, two birds a squirrel. And Megan wants a leopard - that’ll never happen!”
You have the feeling that he was saying everything really fast and rocking back and forth the whole time he was talking and gesturing to an empty chair and saying, “Isn’t that right Megan? Right, sweetie?” And then maybe compulsively wiping the sweat of his face and blinking really fast before bursting into maniacal laughter that gave way to anguished sobbing.
At Fred Segal in West Hollywood Tuesday:
Jun 19, 2008
Megan Fox showed up bare-fingered at the MTV Movie Awards earlier this month without fiancè Brian Austin Green on her arm. I smell trouble in paradise! According to Star Magazine
Megan hasn’t been photographed wearing the ring in months. An insider on the set of her movie says, “I’ve never seen her wearing an engagement ring. I actually thought she and [co-star] Adam Brody were dating. They were very flirty with each other and were always hanging out together when they weren’t working.”
This really doesn’t come as a surprise. I wouldn’t use Brian Austin Green’s penis to stamp out a brush fire, so there’s no reason it should be coming within smelling distance of Megan Fox’s nether regions. In fact, the only real use I can think of for Brian Austin Green’s dork is is maybe distracting scorpions away from unsuspecting babies or a carnival booth type-thing where you get to flick his penis for a dollar and all the proceeds go to a charity for children with cancer. I think the public could really get behind that. Unlike Megan Fox, who he’s probably never going to get behind again. Zing!
Outtakes from Japanese Rolling Stone:
