Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant and tried to tell us it was because Pete Wentz inserted his Tab A into her Slot B?  Well, listen, I don’t want to shake the foundations of anyone’s reality or anything, but Pete Wentz wears more eyeliner than I do, minces around in ladies’ jeans, has a pixie haircut, and pitches a baseball like he’s flinging rose petals at a Miss America coronation.  I think Ashlee Simpson has some explaining to do, because you’d have an easier time getting viable sperm out of a Bratz doll than from Pete Wentz.

Sporty Spice throwing the first pitch at the Dodgers game:

Last night Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and beard Pete Wentz welcomed their new baby boy, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Says E! Online about the birth:

The baby boy weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces and measured 20½ inches.

“Proud new parents Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz welcomed new son, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, late this evening,” a rep for the new mom told E! News. “Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for their well wishes!”
The birth comes almost three weeks after the 29-year-old Fall Out Boy mastermind told Ryan Seacrest that his 24-year-old missus was “very pregnant…She’s at the very end, and it could happen at any point.”
As for the tot’s name, Wentz told Seacrest they were not looking to go down in the annals of punchline-ready celebrity monikers.

“I want to meet the baby first. My friend said it—you’ve gotta have a baby with a name that could be a rock star or a senator, so he’ll get work either way.”

Oh sure, “whiny scruffy boy in a loincloth raised by wolves” positively smacks of rock stardom, or better yet, electoral success! Maybe if he gets elected to office, he can bring Baloo and Bagheera along as his advisors. The “Bear Necessities” sounds like a great political agenda to me!