Other women in their 50′s may posts photos on Facebook of family, nights out with friends or of their significant others. But if you’re Madonna, you’re going to post photos of your bruised ass instead. But hey, as long as she’s not posting pictures of her sinewy nether regions, I think we got off pretty easy. Celebrity Fix says,

The 53-year-old copped some nasty injuries while rehearsing for her Girl Gone Wild tour recently, and she wasn’t shy about sharing pics of her war wounds with fans.

Madonna treated her friends on Facebook to a series of snaps showing off her swollen lip, battered leg, and even the “heart shaped” bruise on her backside.

If I hadn’t read the article and just looked at the pictures, I would have assumed they were warning photos to the other young virgins locked in Madonna’s dungeon of the consequences of trying to escape.

The botox injections Kim Kardashian got on the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians left a series of bruises around her eyes… and a warm place in my heart. I can still pretend she took a tire iron to the temple instead of a surgeon’s needle. See, that’s the power of imagination! It can take you anywhere! The Daily Mail says:

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians Kim visited a Beverly Hills clinic for some Botox injections around her eyes.

Kim decided to brave it and have the injections without the numbing cream, vowing that she has a high tolerance for pain.

Despite attempting to relax in a bubble bath and ice the injections sites, Kim ended up with some serious swelling and two black eyes.

‘I’m never doing this again… at least not until I’m 40!’ Kim told her family [afterward].

I bet she does have a high tolerance for pain. I’ve seen the dresses she stuffs her giant ass into. God only knows how her internal organs handle it. Her liver’s probably folded over on top of itself most of the time and her lungs can only be operating at 35% efficiency, tops. I’m surprised her pancreas doesn’t fly out of her mouth every time she sneezes.

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures, Bauer-Griffin Online

Tila Tequila made a point to display her Shawne Merriman-inspired bruises for all the paps’ cameras in her first public appearance since the alleged beating on Sunday. Big fucking deal, right? A couple of lateral bruises on the upper arms. Psshhht. I’m pretty sure Nicole Brown Simpson would have called that shit “foreplay.”

TMZ obtained a photo yesterday of a woman with a fat lip and strangely devil-horn shaped bruises on either side of her forehead. They say it’s Rihanna but it’s really hard to tell, especially since her eyes are closed. But someone’s in trouuuuble….MSNBC reports,

Hours after the photo was posted, the Los Angeles Police Department launched an internal investigation and asked for the public’s help in finding the person who leaked it. A police news release said the image “has the appearance” of one taken during a domestic violence investigation, and classified its release as a case of serious misconduct.

I hope whoever leaked that photo in the police department got a lot of money that will tide them over for a long, long time. After they get found out they’ll probably face criminal charges and will have an awfully hard time finding a job!

I also hope that Chris Brown’s penis will shrivel up and fall off like a baby’s umbilical cord!