The only woman in the world who might love herself more than Adrianne Curry is LeAnn Rimes, as evidenced by her insatiable need to post pictures of herself in a bikini on the internet every five goddamn minutes. Like these two pics, for example, taken while on honeymoon with current husband Eddie Cibrian in Mexico last week. The Daily Mail says:

The holiday picture – which shows the Grammy award winner on the beach in a blue and white two piece – quickly prompted concern among some of her thousands of her followers.

A fan wrote that the star looked ‘scary skinny.’

But LeAnn jumped straight on the defense, saying: ‘Those are called abs not bones love.’

She went on to say: ‘Thx but this is my body and I can promise you I’m a healthy girl. I’m just lean. Thx for your concern but no need to be.’

If those sharp, jutting, pointy things on her lower torso are supposed to be her abdominal “muscles”, she’s either in the process of digesting a bunch of roofing tiles or a baby pterodactyl is trying to claw its way out of her abdomen. Hips don’t lie, my friends. Just ask Shakira.

“Sonny with a Chance” star Demi Lovato is the latest Disney whore-in-the-making to find herself in rehab. Loyal readers will remember I called this two years ago, the first time she was photographed with a bunch of cut marks on her wrists, and then again last year, when she was busted cutting a second time, probably because of the twenty extra pounds she was carrying in her face. So am I psychotic? Do I have ESPN? All signs point to yes! Star Magazine says:

“Demi Lovato left her [Camp Rock: The Final Jam tour with the Jonas Brothers] early this weekend in order to seek medical treatment for emotional and physical issues she has dealt with for some time,” her rep said in a statement. “Demi has decided to take personal responsibility for her actions and seek help. She is doing just that. Demi and her family ask that the media please respect their privacy during this difficult time. She regrets not being able to finish her tour, but is looking forward to getting back to work in the near future.”

While it remains unclear what the emotional and physical issues are, the [the 18-year old] Disney darling has showed signs of cutting.

Also complicating matters, Demi is currently on tour with her ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas. They had previously been best friends before Joe dumped Demi.

As if that isn’t enough drama, one report states Demi recently got into a physical altercation with a female on tour with her.

She also was bullied in school as a child, struggled with eating disorders her entire life, and was deemed “the ugly one” in the new Disney Brat Pack by mean-spirited gossip bloggers. That’s just cruel. If anybody’s ugly in that group, it’s that one Jonas brother. And that one horse-faced chick with the weird chin. Oh… right. Never mind.

At the 2010 American Music Awards press conference two weeks ago:

PHOTO SOURCE: Fame Pictures

In a new unauthorized biography set to hit the shelves next week, author Maureen Callahan suggests that pop superstar Lady Gaga suffers from a severe case of bulimia. I’m told this might alarm and dismay you if you actually cared about Lady Gaga. The NY Daily News says:

In “Poker Face: The Rise and Rise of Lady Gaga,” the singer’s former tour manager claimed the 24-year-old singer would scarf down unhealthy food and then stop eating for weeks to fit into her famous costumes.

At one point, she reportedly lost 20 pounds between fittings and was hospitalized six times last year over her dieting.

Rumors of a serious illness reached a fever pitch earlier this year after the singer canceled two gigs and appeared to collapse on stage during a gig in New Zealand.

Gaga said her jet lag was to blame for the collapse [and] denied she had an eating disorder.

Interestingly, Captain Bulimia appears on the cover of next month’s Japanese Vogue Homme draped in a meat bikini. I’m not sure what that means, exactly. Is it her way of negating those eating disorder accusations without making a formal statement? Is it political commentary on Western excess? An attack on the beef industry? Or just a way for me to talk about Lady Gaga’s big ol’ floppy meat curtains without actually having to reference her vagina? Ding ding ding ding ding!

These pictures of Lake Bell at the L.A. premiere of “It’s Complicated” have raised an alarming question: is Lake Bell anorexic? Which leads us to another even more important question: who the fuck is Lake Bell? Unfortunately, we may never know.

Who feels like ribs:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

In case you’re wondering, Lindsay Lohan isn’t anorexic because she suffers from body issue distortion and weight issues; she’s anorexic because she wants you to feel sorry for her. Apparently being sorry she hasn’t killed herself yet doesn’t count. A friend of hers told People Magazine

“She is a self-destructive person. It’s all part of her cry for attention. She wants Sam [Ronson, her ex-girlfriend] to see how bad she’s hurting and she wants Hollywood to see her as a ‘tortured artist’ who is wasting away.”

Funny, I see less of a “tortured artist” and more of a “Hamburglar’s slutty little sister after a crippling bout of dysentery.” I guess it’s really all about perspective.

In Hawaii with sister Ali yesterday:

with her younger sister Ali and a few friends.

Britney Spears is all smiles and exposed midriff on the cover of December 11th issue of Rolling Stone, in which she divulges some choice tidbits about her delightful and well-adjusted toddlers. Us Weekly quotes her as saying

“They’re staring to learn words like ‘stupid,’ and [3-year old Sean] Preston says the F-word now sometimes,” Spears reveals. “He doesn’t get it from us,” the singer stresses. “He must get it from his daddy [Kevin Federline]. I say it, but not around my kids.”

That’s probably true, not because she’s vigilant about clean language around her children, but because she’s probably only seen them a total of eighty-four hours in the last year and a half. Not a lot of time to imprint vocabulary on the impressionable, as things like that go. One thing you won’t be reading about in Britney’s Rolling Stone interview, however — her ongoing battle with bulimia. Star Magazine says

A source [says] Brit’s diet consists mostly of “Taco Bell and turkey jerky washed down with Red Bull. She throws up after meals, both at home and at restaurants, and she isn’t very discreet about it.”

The pop star is also “taking diet pills. She has to go to the bathroom constantly. It just runs right through her. And everyone knows she still throws up when she’s eaten too much. You can smell it in the bathroom.”

A crazy woman who reeks of puke living with her father and saddled with two little brats. The only way that line could be more unappealing to men everywhere is if the words could somehow leap off the screen and kick them in the testicles. See, there’s “lowering the bar,” and then there’s “using the bar to ass-fuck yourself in front of a mirror while sobbing uncontrollably.” I’ll let you decide which heading “dating Britney Spears” falls under.