The producers of Rihanna’s new “Birthday Cake” remix denied that Chris Brown was the “shocking” cameo on her latest track, but the single is online and of course it features none other than Chris “I Punched That Bitch in the Face” Brown. And if the title “Birthday Cake” didn’t tip you off, the song is a real auditory delight. ABC News says:
Rumors [that Brown was the featured collaborator on Rihanna's new single] only grew on Monday morning when Brown tweeted, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBYN!,” to which Rihanna — replied “Thanks!” — [marking] the first time in a long time that the former flames had communicated directly with each other on Twitter.
Brown tweeted a link to the new music, along with a couple words from the blush-worthy track — “Cake, cake, cake!” — which Rihanna retweeted along with some additional lyrics, “#RihannaNavy Come and put ya name on it!!!!!”
Brown also shared a link revealing that Rihanna had returned the favor, reuniting with her former beau on a re-do of his Fortune single “Turn Up the Music.”
Though there’ve been rumors that Brown and Rihanna have rekindled their romance, Brown’s rep has said that is in a relationship and not cheating on his girlfriend. One listen to Rihanna and Brown’s verses on the highly suggestive “Birthday Cake” remix though, and speculation about whether the former pair are dating again is likely only to grow.
“Rekindle” is an interesting choice of words to describe what they’re doing to their relationship, but I don’t guess there is a word in English that means “pick the infected scab off a partially-weeping sore with a dirty fingernail and a pair of rusted roach clips.” I find most Germanic-based languages can be so limiting that way.
It seems parents weren’t happy about Katy Perry’s choice of attire for a Seasame Street cameo in which she chased Elmo to a child-friendly version of her shit hit song “Hot N Cold” and generally looked like an idiot. The Daily Mail says:
The song – which was supposed to air on New Year’s Eve – made its way to YouTube on Monday, [but] after some parents started complaining her cleavage was rather too prominent, producers have decided not to air the song.
Despite Katy’s chest being concealed by a flesh-colored mesh, some of the commenter were outraged.
One commenter wrote: ‘You can practically see her [tits]. That’s some wonderful children’s programming.”
While another wrote: ‘They’re gonna have to rename it cleavage avenue.’
Because if there’s one thing responsible for poisoning our children today, it’s cleavage. Boobs are by their very nature evil. It’s important to teach your kids that young. How else will they ever figure out that sex is inherently dirty and that sexual pleasure should always denote shame and guilt? It’s not like everyone can be born Catholic, you know!
EDITOR’S NOTE: This post was brought to you by the letters DD and the number 69. High five!
Kelly Ripa, AnnaLynne McCord, and Kristen Chenoweth at the Second Annual High-Heel-a-Thon yesterday, for whom cleavage is not a problem:
Britney Spears filmed her cameo on Fox’s “Glee” yesterday. Forgive me if I don’t titter with anticipation. She tweeted:
what’s up GLEEKS? Having so much fun on set!! Can’t wait for you guys to see the episode!
About to do my first shot of the day for Glee tweeties! Here we goooo!
So funny! Love this! You GLEEKS Ready? I cant wait !!!
I thought “gleek” was that squirt thing your spit glands do when you open your mouth really wide and lift your tongue. You know, like during a really big yawn? Like you were sitting on the couch bored out of your skull watching an extensively-hyped but painfully overrated TV show, and and then you let loose with a really big yawn and wind up gleeking all over the… on second thought, it’s starting to make sense now.
Believe it or not, this weave is actually an improvement:
I’m not a gay man or a bitter divorcee desperately clinging to what’s left of my rapidly-waning sexuality, so I don’t really give a shit about the Sex and the City sequel. But there are a lot of you out there that are super-excited about the movie, which includes this “surprise” cameo by Miley Cyrus. Pacific Coast News said
“Kim Cattrall and Miley Cyrus shoot a scene for “Sex and the City 2″ where they turn up for a movie premiere in the same outfit! The premiere was for a movie called “Heart of the Desert”, which appeared to star Samantha’s (Kim Cattrall) boyfriend Smith (Jason Lewis). The dresses were by Matthew Williamson.”
When asked for comment on her makeup, Miley reportedly said, “It’s simple. We, uh, kill the Batman.” Why so serious, Miley?
