Cameron Diaz is a rictus-faced jackhole with a long history of making asinine proclamations, but this is pretty ridiculous, even for her.  In an interview with Cosmo, Diaz first says that people shouldn’t have kids anymore because there are already too many people on the planet, and THEN she says that she could end up being the next Octomom.  From the Daily Mail:

Diaz told Cosmopolitan magazine: ‘I think women are afraid to say that they don’t want children because they’re going to get shunned.

‘But I think that’s changing too now. I have more girlfriends who don’t have kids than those that do.

‘And honestly? We don’t need any more kids. We have plenty of people on this planet.’

On whether she wants children of her own, Diaz said: ‘I never say never. I don’t know what’s going to happen.

‘I could end up adopting half a dozen kids, or I could end up being the next “octomum”.’

What a loudmouthed, entitled toolshed she is.  I don’t even like children, but I’d sure as hell never demand that other people stop having them and then, moments later, say I want to keep my own options open just in case I ever change my mind.  Honestly, at this point, probably the single best thing that Cameron Diaz could do for her public image would be to superglue her mouth shut.

At a screening of “Home” at the Stella McCartney store in West Hollywood:

The 66th Annual Golden Globes Awards were last night, and I held fast to my tradition of watching “The Big Lebowski” while high as a kite instead. Try it yourself and I believe you’ll find the Golden Globes infinitely more tolerable that way. I mean, say what you want about the tenents of National Socialism — at least it’s an ethos. Am I right?

And speaking of high as a kite, a visibly impaired and cloying Cameron Diaz managed to fuck up Angelina Jolie’s name while presenting and trying to be cute (clip above). But even that wasn’t the most annoying moment of the night. Kate Winslet (keep watching) nabbed that distinguished honor after blathering on at the podium for five minutes and panting and gasping like Fatty McGee after taking a flight of stairs. People Magazine says

A breathless Kate Winslet, the first winner of the night at Sunday’s Golden Globes as best supporting actress for The Reader… was also named best leading actress in the drama Revolutionary Road.

Winslet, along with Mickey Rourke, Colin Farrell, Happy-Go-Lucky’s Sally Hawkins, the late Heath Ledger, Slumdog Millionaire, and Woody Allen’s Vicky Christina Barcelona were the top winners in the film categories.

The HBO miniseries John Adams, AMC’s Mad Men and NBC’s multiple-winner 30 Rock took TV honors.

Blah blah blah who cares. Look, if I’m gonna watch a group of people in ridiculous costumes shamelessly kissing each other’s asses for four hours, I’m not going to do it on network fucking TV. I’m going to rent “Starship Poopers” and “Backdoor Bandits on Big Butt Row” and get my damn money’s worth. And also maybe stain the couch.

Complete list of the night’s winners here.

Various stars at the Golden Globes after party, starting with Vanessa Hudgens and Kyra Sedgwick:

Christina Applegate and Kate Beckinsale:

Drew Barrymore and Eva Mendes:

Olivia Wilde and Melissa George:

Worth1000 has worked their digital wizardry on the likes of Amy Winehouse and Keira Knightley in their latest photoshop endeavor, “Celebrities as Body Builders.” Sadly, this may be the best Amy Winehouse has ever looked in her life. She’s like what Madonna would look like if she were an actual Jew or even slightly effeminate in the least.

More digitally-altered actress hijinx:

Cameron Diaz sparked engagement rumors yesterday after being photographed with a huge diamond ring on her wedding finger. According to the Daily Mail

The actress appeared to flash the dazzling ring at photographers as she left the Nobu restaurant in Santa Monica yesterday, indicating that her relationship with new beau Paul Sculfor may have taken a more serious turn.

So Cameron is possibly engaged to Jennifer Aniston’s ex (Paul Sculfor), and Jennifer Aniston is currently dating Cameron’s ex (John Mayer). You don’t usually get that kind of swapping action without a couple of eight year olds and a deck of Pokémon cards. Active cards: Cameron and Jennifer — Type: Poison; Hit points:6; Strengths: big nose; Weaknesses: desperation and insecurity; Evolution: actress. And no fair using Birthday Pikachu, either. Wizards of the Coast banned it from tournament play!

Cameron Diaz was photographed on the set of her new movie “My Sister’s Keeper” in Santa Monica yesterday. When asked for comment on her new look, she said, “Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward…” and then yelled at Wolverine for smoking inside the mansion again.

Look, it’s a skull cap for a movie with kids about cancer. Trying making a joke about that, tough guy:

Actress Cameron Diaz is mourning the sudden death of her father Emilio Diaz. Nine MSN reports

Emilio developed pneumonia following a bout of the flu and passed away on Tuesday, aged 58. Emilio was said to be in “terrific health,” so his death has been a shock to his entire family.

Poor Cameron. Such a sad reminder of the fragility of life. A less sad reminder of the fragility of life? That Canadian hobo who accidentally hung himself with a backpack full of beer. Fuckin’ circle of life, man!

Cameron at the SNL afterparty Saturday night:

It’s that magical time of year when the weeks of drinking laxative tea and binge exercising until their little black hearts almost give out pays off in spades for Hollywood actresses. It’s called the Academy Awards, and thanks to the timely end of the Writer’s Strike, it went off without a hitch last night. The big winner of the evening was “No Country for Old Men,” taking home the Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Adapted Screenplay. There were various other boring awards for movies you’ll never see, but I know you want me to shut the hell up and start talking fashion. This year’s Oscars was all about fabric — the more fabric, the merrier. Plenty of ruching, gathering, organza overlay and fishtails. My favorites of the evening were Penelope Cruz in her custom Chanel gown and Kerri Russell’s vintage floral necklace. But there were plenty of others…

Anne Hathaway’s flowered and draped red Marchesa gown somehow made it despite my first instinct to write it off for excessive use of foliage. I usually detest red lips, too, but she manages to keep hers from looking harsh and Bozo-the-Clownish. Her hair and the rest of her makeup is very simple, which keeps the gratuitous excess of the dress in check. Congratulations, Anne — you defied the odds:

Cameron Diaz wore a pale pink Dior by John Galliano bustier gown. I’m not wild about the dress, but I like the color, and that business at the hips works for her because she’s built like a twelve-year old boy:

Jennifer Garner wore a black silk taffeta Oscar de la Renta fishtail gown. I think Oscar could have eased up on those big fat ruffles at the bottom and Jen’s hair looks like a damn combover, but overall it was a success:

Penelope Cruz had a navy Chanel Haute Couture feathered gown designed specifically for her for the big event. It’s over the top and princessy, I know, but for some reason I love it on her. She kept her jewelery and makeup simple, and like Anne Hathaway, that keeps the dress from looking garish. Kudos:

Nicole Kidman wore classically simple black Balenciaga dress. The main attraction here is obviously the 1,399-carat diamond L’Wren Scott necklace hanging down to her waist. I went back and forth on this one. It kind of looks like she pulled down a chandelier from a late nineteenth century whorehouse and draped it around her neck. But then again, I really like her dress. And diamonds are shiny. You see my dilemna here. I’ll leave it up to you:

Hilary Swank has a knack for red carpet glamor. Her one-shouldered Atelier Versace gown isn’t my favorite of the dresses she’s worn, but it’s not bad either. Makeup, hair and accessories are all simple, which makes the flowers on the bodice not as hideously distracting:

Renee Zellweger gives a whole new meaning to the term “alabaster” in her hand-embroidered Carolina Herrera gown. I have to hand it to her — she looks fantastic. And her face is way less ruddy and scabby than usual. Looks like Chappy really dressed to impress last night!:

Keri Russel’s 46-carat-diamond H. Stern necklace paired perfectly with her strapless Nina Ricci organza bustier dress. I loved her look more than any other of the night. That necklace is fantastic. Not so hot? Standing like you’ve got gout:

Laura Linney wore a black strapless fishtail Michael Kors gown with a diamond and blue topaz pendant. Simple, classic, elegant, blah blah blah:

Kristin Chenoweth worked an hour-glass figure in a sheer black Armani Prive dress. Her hair looks like crap, but I love the diamond cuff and her skin is like buttah. Nice rack, too. Hooray for boobies!:

Cameron Diaz has found herself another puss singer to fill the void Justin Timberlake left in her panties life — former Jessica Simpson kitty puncher John Mayer. According to Us Weekly

Cameron Diaz has dipped back into the musician well to find herself a new guy — John Mayer! The 34-year-old Shrek actress… and rocker Mayer were spotted out in New York last night. “They went out to several places…It was the two of them, getting to know each other, out on the town.”According to a source, Diaz and Mayer have known each other for awhile. “This was technically not their first time hanging out…they’ve hung out together with friends before. But this was the first time together like this. It’s new and developing…but they really like each other and it went well,” a source explained.

We’ll have to just wait and see where this goes. It’s hard to determine the fate of a relationship simply from the first date alone. Like my first date with my latest boyfriend Jimmy, for example. It seemed like everything went wrong between us from the get-go. It began with me waiting inside his car like any smitten young girl would do with a box of chocolates and a bouquet made from all the junk mail I scoured from his trash. But he didn’t seem happy to meet me. In fact, he seemed terrified. And the girl he was with — probably his sister — made the sign of the cross and did one of those sideways rolls out of the car like you see in the movies. But once I showed him my gun and told him it was destiny that had brought us together, he really seemed to warm up to me. So, anyway, I’m sure you see my point here. Cameron Diaz really ought to get herself a gun.

Cameron Diaz on the set of “What Happens in Vegas” after the jump

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