I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… Kanye West’s and Lady Gaga’s “Fame Kills” tour has been canceled. Yeah. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself. According to Rolling Stone

The primary reason “Fame Kills” was nixed: sluggish early numbers. Ticket sales “sucked,” to point where “’sucked’ happens to be a nicer version of the word,” TMZ writes, adding Gaga’s and West’s people were allegedly “at each others throats.”

But Gaga’s choreographer, Laurieann Gibson, tweeted:

Creative differences!!!

“Creative differences” my foot. I bet they just couldn’t agree on which one them got to be the man.

Lady Gaga being Lady Gaga:

After months of dismal ratings and rumors of cancellation, TLC has confirmed that “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” will now officially become “Kate Plus 8.” I guess “Cunty McBeaverson Rules the Roost” really didn’t resonate with test audiences. TLC said in an official statement (via the New York Post):

“Given the recent changes in the family dynamics, it only makes sense for us to refresh and recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family. The family has evolved and we are attempting to evolve with it; we feel that Kate’s journey really resonates with our viewers. [As for Jon], he will continue to appear on the show, but on a less regular basis.”

Wow, can you say “snoozefest 2009?” Because I can’t. On account of the my soft palate and hard palate not fusing together when I was born. It mostly just comes out as a lot of hissing and spit.

Scarlett Johansson’s Mango ads because they’re sexy and Kate’s not: